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boyfriend issues
im having real boyfriend issues lately. my boyfriend and I have been together for little over a year. For the first 7 months everything was perfeectly wonderful, until he broke up with me for 3 weeks. Reason being he wanted to get his schooling in order and caught up and what not, and a relationship wasn't what he wanted. It sucked but I knew I had to eventually accept it. But after the first week of being apart, we had drivers Ed together, and we were spending a lot of time with eachother. Then it didnt seem like we were apart. We acted the same behind closed doors and on the phone. It was nice but so confussing. It confussed him really bad too cause he knew what he had to do, but knew that it was soo hard for us to stay apart. We ended up getting back together because he realized the whole thing was pointless. But ever since we have, things slowly have changed between us.
Within the past few months we've been fighting a lot. It all started with him inviting his friend over to work out at his house for two freaking hours while I was there. At the time we werent able to see eachother very much b/c my parents found out we were havin sex. So I'm thinking why would he spend time doing other things while I'm there when we hardly get to see eachother? he totally didn't consider that, or how I felt, and just did what he wanted.
then a couple weeks later I was over there again. I didnt have to leave until 9pm. Well he gets a call from his friends inviting him over to the movies @ 7:30. So basically he wanted to go, and if he went I would have to leave really early. I'm not one to tell my boyfriend he can't do something. I don't feel right about it because I'm not a controlling girlfriend. I would just hope he would consider how it would make me feel. Well his mom helped us talk it out and we compromised me going home at 830 and he being an hour late to the movies. BFD. But still..it's like..the thought of him ditching me to go hang out with his friends, sucks. Without his mom I would've gone home early. Espically when its cutting into our time of hanging out when my parents were all weird about us having sex.
After a while after we worked through things, a few weeks later it just got worse. Me and him were planning on going to a football game. It was the first time we were going to be able to hang out without supervision. I didn't care about the game at first, but when I found out we were playing our rival and I had never seen us play against them, I really wanted to go becfore I graduate this year. I got home and called him, and all I got to say was Hi before he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with him and his friends. NO I DIDNT WANT TO GO, I wanted to go to the game. He tried to make me decide but in a qay he was emphasising how he wanted to go to the movies instead and how the game didnt interest him at all. But I told him that i had planned on going to the game and I wanted him to go with me. Then he finally decided to say he'd go to the game, but he said it in one of those ways where they make it seem like you're making them do something so horrible, and then afterwards you just don't care anymore. So I said fuck it. I told him that I wouldn't go to either one and I was just going to stay home. He said he really felt bad and probably wouldn't go out either. I ended up going out to dinner with my family (which is different then hanging out with friends). I came home and called him only to find out that he did end up going to the movies. It hurt my feelings because he just went and did whatever he wanted, and he knew it hurt my feelinggs that he completely ditched me and time to hang out with me for his friends, who he sees all the time. My feelings were really hurt, which is when I started to consider breaking up with him. I told him that he was being really selfish and he wasn't considering my feelings. I told him no mater what he was always my #1, but I felt like he was his own #1 and I was #2.
I'm trying really hard with himlately. But I can't help that in the back of my mind I feel like I shouldn't waist my time anymore. He slips up here and there with me, but now I'm starting to notice his selfishness in his relationships with his mom and friends. And now thats starting to make me think even more about if this is worth it or not. Within the last 2 years I've grown up a lot, and he hasn't at all. I ned him to be on my level, but I don't want to let him go. I do really care about him and how he does in life. I just want whats best for him. I don't want him to grow up just for me, but for himself. Today I talked to him about everything. And he seems to be wanting to make changes. He's really confident about it, and he never has been before. I just hope hes not talking out of his ass like he normally does. I really hope he grows up, because otherwise he's going to learn the hard way. And I realyl don't want that. I dont want to break up with him, and I don't want him to ruin his life.
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I think it would be a good idea if you guys took a break for a little while. I think the whole idea of you two dating is putting a lot of pressure on both of you because you both feel like you have to spend a lot of time with each other. It seems like it's almost forced. And I know you care about him, but I think it would be for the best. When you guys were apart it seemed like you two got along just fine. I'd keep it like that for a while longer and then see if you're ready to take it to the next level again. Maybe you should wait until you feel he's matured a little more.
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Hey well it seems you have a really big problem all I can say is right now your wearing your heart on your sleeve and you need to do what feels right for you. Do you like always feeling unwanted or not feel like your not his #1 you either need to end it or step up and say "you want this relationship? then step up and do something about it" you know.Just dont keep this going and end up getting your heart broken you know well if you need anymore help let me know. I'm recently going through relationship problems so yeah I know how it feels
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