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will it ever happen?
15/f
i'm a sophmore in highschool and i've never been kissed and never had a boyfriend.Please don't write "it's going to happen someday" or "just wait, it'll come soon when you're not expecting it" But, the thing is it seems like i'm the one who's scaring off all the guys though.I come off pretty mean. But it's like every time i try to tell myself to be nice or don't say anything hurtful, it happens anyway. It's like I can't control what my actions. So basically i want advice on how to be a lot less mean, and way more nice.i know it sounds stupid, but i think if i had like the right mind set then maybe i can get somewhere in my social life.
THANX IN ADVANCE!
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It is possible to control your actions, but it does take some practice! Like any other skill you want to learn, there are a couple steps.
(1) Observe: When you learn a new skill, you usually start off by watching someone else do it. So take a look at some people who you think are nice, and observe how they act. Take some mental notes on what they do or say that makes them seem nice.
(2) Practice: Once you know what you WANT to do, you need to practice it so it will come easily and naturally. Start by holding "rehearsals" inside your head. Imagine yourself in different situations, and visualize yourself acting the way you'd like to act. Do this over and over, and it will become easy to do in real life.
(3) Perform: After you've had some practice, put your new skill into action! And don't be too hard on yourself if you slip up once in a while. It takes some time to develop a new skill and turn it into a habit, so be patient with yourself and don't stop trying!
Good luck!
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To start, if you are a sarcastic person..just stop. For some people, like me, when your sarcastic it comes off totally wrong and comes across as mean. If you hang around people who are being mean, that can affect your status. So try to have your "meaner" friends make a change for the better with you and it will be soo much easier to do it with a friend.
Also when your on your way to become a nicer person, don't start lying. People can tell when you're being genuine or fake. So instead, if you really do like Suzy Q's shoes TELL HER!
Lastly, don't make a sudden change, just work on one thing at a time. Like the first couple days say I am not going to talk about anyone behind their back. The next couple days say I won't make fun of anyone. Making little subtle changes also make the transition easier. Also if you make one sudden change people will think you are fake.
Good Luck and when you do become a nicer person, some lucky guy is gonna notice, and he'll be all over you. =)
ALWAYS&&FOREVER
MEliSSA
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