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now what?
15/f
Another fabulous love story. (Note the sarcasm)
I apologize in advance for the length, and thanks for reading.
Okay so i have known my friend Anna for maybe 4 years. We got really close the last 2, because we only saw each other once a week at dance classes. I recently moved, and now we go to the same school. PRIOR to me moving, I would go up to her school for different events (talent shows...plays, etc.) So i got to know all of her friends (who are now my friends, seeing as we all go to the same school.) and her boyfriend, jake. As soon as i saw him, i fell in love, okay not really in love, that takes time. But he was really sweet and funny and hes so cute. ANYWAY. The first time me and jake had met was about a yearish ago. Since then, we talked online almost everyday, and we had seen each other a few more times. Then, i had gone up to her school for a day to get to know everyone, and sort of take a tour and get the feel of everything. Anna and jake had a bunch of classes together, and i was tagging along with anna all day. Jake kept smiling at me and looking at me, and it was kinda weird because he was still dating anna at the time. They broke up a few weeks later, but not because of me. Anyway, a few weeks ago, i was talking to jake and he told my he loved me and thought i was really pretty. i was thrown off, because im not the girl who every guy is drooling over, and it kind of shocked me. So i told my friend from my old school, we'll call her mary, who doesnt know anna, but sort of knows jake, and mary asks me if i like jake. i told her the truth, i did. so she goes and tells jake, because she thinks shes doing a good thing, i was a little pissed at first, but i got over it. so after mary tells jake that i like him, jake confronts me about it. his words were something like well i like you and you like me woo. but he doesnt want a gf now, and i dont really want a bf now either.
im not sure what my questions is. i guess its what should i do? how should i act around jake (btw, anna and her friends DONT know i like him. and me and jake dont really talk in school, but when he walks my me in the hallway he'll tap my shoulder and walk away) would it be really bad for me to want to be with my friends ex? ahh
sorry guys, thanks so much. i just need to know what i should do :\\\
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Give it time and talk to anna about how she feels cause if shes like "I loved him so much blah blah blah" then dont make a move on him but if shes like "I never liked him anyway" being like a stuck up bitch she will get jelous and you could end up losing a good freind. But if you guys like each othere then keep it on the down-low and talk to him on like msn or something and be like " I like you, and you like me yet we both dont want bfs and gfs right now, we should step up our relation ship from freinds to hanging out more and talking more and see how we feel after a few weeks of that" ok hope i helped you:) goodluck
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To sum up what I understand thus far: Right now, both you and Jake know that there is chemistry, but don't want to do anything about it.
So there isn't too much to worry about at the moment.
The idea that you can't/shouln't date the crush or ex of your friend is quite silly and grade-schoolish. A lot of intelligent people grow out of it and realize that people can't help who they hit it off with. A guy I dated is now engaged to one of my best friends, and I couldn't be happier for them both.
That's the way life goes.
So is it okay to want to be with your friend's ex? Yes. Is it okay to date your friend's ex? Yes.
The only thing you need to be aware of is the consequences. Just because it's not a 'bad, bad, thing' doesn't mean Anna won't feel hurt, betrayed and angry. Her feelings will be just as okay as your feelings for Jake!
You might loose her as a friend. Other people might talk nasty about you.
That is also, the way life goes.
So how do you treat Jake? Honestly, like a guy you have a crush on: Flirt a little, smile and be friendly. How do you Treat Anna? Honestly, like a friend: Tell her what you and Jake has realized, tell her nothing is going to come of it right now, but you felt it would be better coming from you now, then someone else later.
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it's not bad to want to be with your friend's ex as long as shes over him. find out if she still likes him and stuff, or if shes over him already. since you both don't want a serious relationship right now, just keep being friends. only, maybe a little friendlier. that is, as long as anna is okay with it. the first thing you need to do is to explain to her that you like him now cos you guys have been talking. just don't tell her you've liked him since you met him, that'll be weird. it's better for her to find out from you than from someone else, right ? so talk to her first, and go from there.
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