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i know long
I will still have feelings for Lara until I find some else and I will remember that I had a crush on her for nearly 8 years. I know I wouldn’t get over her until someone comes sweep me off my feet to forget ever thing about my crush on her. I am moving to Hawaii in next December I will miss my sisters and my friends and even Lara. My ex boyfriend Tony lives over there too, he’s been there for 3 years now with his mother, I remember him telling me on the phone six months ago that he still liked me. He even wrote a letter to me that he read on the phone saying that he hopes he meets someone just like me. when he told me that I was pretty surprise but then realized that I might be still liking Lara even thou I am out of the state of CA. but the thing is Tony never met anyone yet over there so he still does like me. but he hadn’t called me lately. So he might’ve met someone and I am happy for him if he did. Tony thinks the reason why I broke up with him is because he was to quite and boring he told me he change but the thing is the reason why I broke up with him is because I was using him to get over Lara. I didn’t want him to find out so I try my best to push him away but I really broke his heart. I told Lara that (on the chat room) reason why I went out with Tony is to get over her, she than ask me “why do you like me?” so I explain it to her that I am attracted to her for some reason and that its hard to explain. Lara is like a child once it comes into romance, she had one boyfriend it lasted 3 days, she never told me that until Mandy told me the day she broke up with him Josh. The thing is this was in freshmen year and I never told my feelings to her yet. When I found out she broke up with josh I ask her “why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?“ she then got all defective about it and said “I thought Rachel told you” I looked at her with a confusing expression of why she got all pissy about that when I ask her, I told her that “usely its not the person who knew that you had a boyfriend is supposed to tell every one its yourself” she still got all defective about that too. I never understood that at all.
Tony called Lara too that six months ago that he told me that he liked her and was asking her out on the phone when Tony told me that I ask him what she said he told me “well she said Kime(that’s me) played this song to me to listen to and it keeps on playing over and over my head" it was not a song it was a poem I wrote to her I sent it to her email that day after I told her my feelings to her. It was this
Will be there for you
When you fall
When you cry
When you think life has no meaning
Where ever I am
Where ever you are
Who ever you are with
Who ever I am with
I will still think of you
I will protect you
I will help you
I always have your back
Because you are my friend,
I love you forever…
I got very curious and wonder why? When I went out with my first boyfriend Aaron I told her and my other friend Rachel about it and I remember her saying this to me “are you both going to kiss?“ that’s when I guess her jealousy started, Lara doesn’t know what she wants in her life, she been asked out b so many guys but let them down because she doesn’t want a relationship during college, yes she feels lonely and yes she hates romance but she doesn’t get that she is the one that it is effecting herself. If she wants someone she shouldn’t freeze up and ignore it. I am not going to play her games anymore but I will try to ask her face to face to understand what she wants, Lara is not adult about this and I am trying my best to be, I thought this is over and I my self is keeping this going by asking her these questions I have to know I don’t want to brush it way. Maybe later in life she will realize that how childish she can be when it comes to romance. I am stepping up and she is backing down she step up once but didn’t explain her self, should I step again? Or wait for her to step up? No wait I should just not do anything and move on.
Sorry that his is long I just wanted to express myself to someone. Thinks for reading my confusing love life and giving me good advice
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Thank you!
I have a few comments:
- I think you were right to end things with Tony, if you were only using him anyways. It's hard, but it's the best thing to do.
- Why she got defensive back when she had a boyfriend freshman year, it seems like she had feelings for you.
- That poem was adorable. I'd love to have somebody write me something like that.
- I kind of see where you're coming from about Lara not knowing what she wants and always asking out guys. One of my best friends is like this, always with a new guy, blah blah. I partially understand that.
- I think you should face to face ask her what she wants because you need to know, since you're leaving and all. Tell her exactly what you said above, you don't want to play her games anymore and you need an answer. Tell her to be an adult about this for once, and please stop messing with your feelings. Just one final time, let her know she never fully expressed her feelings, and you want her to open up.
Tell her you're leaving, and you don't want to leave not knowing how she feels. Tell her it's ok to open up and you won't judge anything she says, becasue you're here for her and you just want to know how she feels.
And you're welcome. I'm here to help and I'm glad you felt I gave good advice =]
I wish you all the best, and don't be afriad to come back and ask again OR post in my forum =]
-Laura.
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