|
Space from my husband
The only way I know how to handle an argument with my husband is to ignor him and sleep in the other room, he does not care or listen to a word I say and our communication sucks. We do not want a divorce so about twice a month this we ignor and I sleep in another room until we both feel comfortable with each other again and then two weeks later we do the same thing again, he also holds me down with money, because I am a stay at home mom and I am not to worried with that because my name is on the account, although he does threaten to take all of the money out and leave with nothing, need I say this is ONLY a threat and he never follow thru, I know its a cyle we are going thru and I am fed up!!! By the way we have a 4 year old that we try real hard to not involve her but I know she is effect and it breaks my heart. My husband throws out all the time that he wants out of this marriage but he does nothing and then in a few days he acts like nothing is wrong, how can that be?? I am not going to say I am incoscent in all of this, but I am the only one who is seeking help! Female 38
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, if you continue to handle arguments the way you both do, then you are on the edge of your marriage.
I really don't know about marriage since I'm not married, but I do know that ignoring and not communicating the problems will pile and pile until one of you finally scream divorce.
On a time when you both are available, and not fighting, you need to say, 'listen, we're married now, we can't ignore each other just because we don't agree. I love you and I'm more than willing to make you and I both happy and figuring out a way for us to settle this without getting a divorce and without effecting our child' or something along those lines.
I imagine the only way to really begin a good way to settle fights is counseling. It's not a bad thing, it's a way of trying to save your marriage and your child. It's not stupid, or admitting your helpless, but you both should consider a little more help if you can't manage.
-TheTeenGirl
]
WOW.
Yes, you are right that this effects your daughter. When she sees you fighting and unhappy, she feels unhappy to. If you are going to argue and ignore one another, don't let her see it or hear it.
She is learning from your marriage. She knows no different, so she will think this is how it should be to be married.
You don't want that.
As for you and your husband, marriage is a two way street. You have to be able to communicate with one another. You have to figure out a way to do that in a manner that doesn't involve all of the coldness between the two of you.
He shouldn't threaten you with the money. Though he goes out and earns it on the job, you earn equally as much by staying home and caring for your daughter. (I know how hard that is- I'm a stay at home mom, too.)
You have to find a way to break this cycle. This is extremely unhealthy for your marriage.
I don't know what you are fighting about, but you have to stop and think, is it really WORTH fighting over?
My marriage has it's ups and downs, but thankfully the downs are very few and far between. We are both in agreement that if it isn't worth fighting about, why argue over it? And that works for us. Maybe it wouldn't work for you, but if you haven't tried it, it is at least worth a shot. What else have you to lose right now? If he wants to argue over piddly things, then just say you don't want to argue, you would rather enjoy his company.
I don't think that it would hurt one bit to try marriage counciling. A councilor can reteach you to communicate with one another as you should. If you can't communicate, then you don't really have much.
If neither of you want a divorce, then both of you have to put your heads together and figure out what needs to change in order to make this marriage work. Then both of you need to make the effort to change it.
ygs-29/f
]
More Questions: |