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Confused on feelings.
I am 15 years old. my ex boyfriend is 17.
1. when we first got together about half a year ago he was infatuated with me. he said he didn't want to lose me. i know he was sincere.
2. after a while things started to deteriorate but i was falling for him hard
3. neither of us broke up with each other it just fell apart but straight after we met up and hooked up .. it was like everything was usual. we stopped speaking for a while but then hooked up a couple of months ago again
4. 2 weeks ago i lost my virginity to him
i am so confused. i know he cares for me but i just dont know what he wants. when were together its like old times we bring up things we used to find funny etc but then when were not seeing each other its like he doesnt give a second thought about me.
i cant get over him, trust me i have tried. i just dont know how to move forward now .. .
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The annoying answer would be to tell you that you are young and will find someone new. And it's the truth. And it's also often not what young people want to hear.
You started out together and have grown apart. It happens. But if you notice what you have said, you get back together after you hook up.
Sex is the closest physical intimacy that humans can have. With it comes emotional and mental responsibilities. When you hooked up with your ex-boyfriend, you were not only trying to recapture your physical and mental intimacies, but your emotional. It's safe. It's comfortable. While you might not be happy, you know what it feels like and the situation is comfortable and easy to be in.
The bottom line is, if you're not enjoying each other's company and having a real, fulfilling relationship, you need to separate and grow.
People cannot be healthy and happy if they cannot stand on their own. Dependency on someone else is not going to make you happy. Are you happy? Or are you feeling a little empty?
Find someone else who wants to be with you, to be beside you and do fun things with you. Someone who loves you and not just the sex will want to do other things. They will want to talk to you, enjoy fun activities with you. They will also give you room to grow.
If this is not happening for you, move on. The truth is, you ARE young and someone WILL come along and find you attractive and want to do those things. You will have to do the painful thing and move on without him. And when I say move on, I mean MOVE ON. Don't talk to him. Be polite and pleasant if you have to talk to him. Don't go where he is or try to see him outside of where you absolutely have to go. Be pleasant and nice, but try to release your attachment to him.
If you reconcile and both discover that you want to be with each other in a healthy relationship, then give it another shot. But be sure what you want in a relationship and don't budge on that. It's important not to give in and give up your own happiness.
Hope all works out for you and hope this helps you out.
-Charlotte
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