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whose flirting??
14/f
my boyfriend and i have been dating a year this friday.
i love him to death, like id really take a bullet for him to death. And yes i really mean that.
Well he kinda flirts with other girls. (he used to be a "playa" before he met me)
well when im mad at him, or i want someone to notice me because he doesnt, or because i thought he was flirting with another girl, i tend to flirt with guys,normally these two specific guys, just to make him jealous sometimes, that and i want attention. Well today he kinda brought it up.
He said him and his other friend were talking about how they noticed it last year too. he didnt say exactly what i did or who i did it with. but im pretty sure he meant that i was flirting with this guy, and since last year. he said he didnt want to start anything so he wouldnt tell me.
i want to tell him what i did because i feel guilty even though all i did was flirt and give these guys hugs.i want to explain to him about how i was jealous but i dont even like the guys, except for one but he is like an older brother to me. i know my boyfriend thinks i like these guys but i really dont. and i dont want him to get mad at me for what i did, and i know it was totally wrong..(i liked the attention i didnt get from my boyfriend)
so how do i tell him that it didnt mean anything and that i was flirting with those guys??
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Well you were flirting to make him jealous - and it sounds like it worked. It doesn't mean anything to you, and hopefully it doesn't in general, as long as you didn't go overboard with the flirting. Generally, it's perfectly fine to tease and hug guy friends as long as you don't actually have anything else in mind, see them in a non-friends way, or give them the wrong impression. Flirting, at some level, can be harmless and a fun way to get attention, and it sounds like your boyfriend the "playa" already understands this.
If you wish to bring up the situation with your boyfriend,you may want to bring up the times when he makes you upset/feeling unnoticed/like he's flirting too much with girls, especially if they are a pattern thing (ei does he excessively flirt with girls and it always bugs you). The fact that you go to other guys specifically for attention after you are upset at your boyfriend is probably normal but also not the best thing in general. If you wish to readdress the flirting, also be sure to mention that you don't feel anything at all from those guys. Maybe you could make fun of the situation a bit, for example saying how funny it is that those guys find you so attractive, or you could say something about how it's a shame how all boys are so attracted to you when there's no way you could even consider them. Mostly be as truthful as possible, I mean you don't have that much to hide anyway since what you were doing might offend your boyfriend but it's actually not that bad (or if it's really mild flirting it shouldn't be a problem). It sounds like your boyfriend just wants to know where you stand with these guys, so saying that you've never looked at them as more than friends, and that you love him, will be enough.
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I don't think you should tell him you were "flirting". It could make things worse and make him lose trust for you.
Just explain to him you wanted a bit of attention. Everyone needs some form of attention - you just went the wrong way about it.
Tell him you never really realized you were being flirtatious (even though you did) and say you'll think before you act and put an end to it.
Don't get upset over it. Just explain and things should turn out just fine.
Best of luck.
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