|
the guy im talkin to has a "friend" that he used to be roman
Hi, I have something going on that i need advice with. Im talking to this guy for about two months and in the first two weeks i had explained to him that i dont feel comfortable with him being friends with people he had romantic interests with, he says they are only friends. Two weeks into the relationship i said to him that we cant be together because of this friend, that he had romantic interest in, and now tells him about us. we didnt speak for two days, when i called him back we started talkin again, one week after, he told me that he and this "friend" that i had a problem with, had done something sexually, to him he said that since we had called it off he was single. Now he wants me to accept this person as a friend and be ok with it, otherwise we cannot go further. I have strong feelings fo him, we have been arguin about this back and forth, we broke up five times and the last time was for four days. i called him my heart couldnt take it, he stills says that he wants to keep this person as a friend cause they have done nothing for him to let him go. Wat should i do. Unsure.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Thankyou for your question.
Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about this ordeal.
If I'm being perfectly honest, it seems like he's using you both for when it suits him. You say you didn't speak for 2 days.. and in that little time, he had already gone and done something sexually with this other person. Then expects you to be cool with it. Noone in their right mind can be cool with knowing their boyfriend is good friends with someone he jumps back and forth with and has romantic interests in.
He needs to consider your feelings at this point - which he obviously isn't doing.
You should have a serious talk with him and explain how weird it makes you feel to know he has some sort of feelings towards this other person as well as you.
If he can prove to you he is only interested in you, perhaps you can work around it.
It's impossible for anyone to know what's going on inside his head. He may really regret what he did or doesn't see it as a big deal.. Or he could just not care.
He is giving you an ultimatum - either you accept his friendship or that's it.
Fair enough, but you have to make him understand that yes, he can remain friends with this person, but if there's any obvious flirting or anything considered more as a friendship, then that's it too.
Follow your heart at this point. If you think it can honestly work, give it a go.
Although, if you've already broken up 5 times over it, it doesn't seem as if you're very compatible.
If I were in your position (which I have been, but not as severe), I'd have the talk and give it a try out for a few weeks. If he's basically being a jerk, you can do better.
I really hope things work out for you.
]
More Questions: |