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humorist-workshop
Boys..sorry if it's long
I know this is a common question, but how do you know a guy likes you? I've read articles about how a guy likes you but it's kind of the opposite. I've liked this boy since 7th grade (Now im in 9th) and he's a grade higher (10th). I use to call him in the 7th but he didn't seem interested in me. It could've been he was nervous and shy or he didn't like me. At lunch, my table is a few yards away from his table. I could be wrong, but I think he somtimes looks at me with glances, but probably doesn't want his friends to know. I sit where I can see him, but he sits where is back is to me. Do you think I should interact more with him (i pretend im invisible because he thinks im a stalker...he doesn't notice i like him, stupid boy) so i can see if he likes me or not? Or do you think I should give up and just admit he doesn't like me. I can do that because it's easier to stop liking him that way.
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A guy who looks at you or sneaks glances for no particular reason probably does has his eye on you. Look in his direction a bit the next time, check him out. If you catch him looking over quickly look away, and it'll show that you like him without being awkward or forward or stalkerish. If you do this, you'll send out signals and find out if it's really you he's looking at. You don't have much to base this hunch on and for all you know he could just be looking in your general direction for reasons completely different.
To be honest, from what you've written it doesn't really sound like you know this guy well enough to tell whether he likes you or not. It could be that he just doesn't know you enough to have anyone to be interested in. Your hunch not to come on too strong is a good one, but this doesn't mean that you can't make the first move. Calling him might be a bad idea since few people call other people since chatting online became popular unless they are good friends or close in some way, either that they are calling to schedule a time to meet up. Randomly getting a call from a person of the opposite gender whom you don't know just screams stalker all the way.
You have to interact more with him if you want any hope of starting anything. I wouldn't really give up on this point, because you've liked him for this long and so far you don't actually have a reason to give up. I mean, that's like forfeiting a soccer game before anyone's really touched the ball. Just - don't call him randomly until you've gotten to know him a bit better. Add him on some online community thing that you guys have in common (facebook, myspace, whatever). That way you can casually start a conversation. Comment on his profile picture. Ask how he's doing. Be random but always wait until he replies to send another message. It's online so it won't really be seen as forward, just as someone who's an acquaintance who is trying to get to know someone a little better, which in most cases is flattering. Once you've got something going in a conversation you can add him on msn. Don't necessarily join a club or a team just because he's on it, but if you are sharing some sort of extra curricular activity then don't be afraid to nod and smile, or start up a simple conversation (so you're in this club too?) Or you could ask him something about high school since he's been there an extra year (maybe I'm wrong, just an assumption). You could ask him a question like are the courses in grade nine hard? Or something less keaner-ey, like, "Omigod school's starting" or you could ask how his summer is. Don't always approach him every time you see him, just sometimes. Get to know him gradually and make sure that whenever you approach him he doesn't look bored or annoyed. It's really a lot like getting to know the person as a friend at first.
Once you have gotten to know said guy this far (or before that. Depends on how forward you want to be , and you could judge this for yourself but remember that it's a balance), start teasing him a bit. Poke him, maybe, if you two have been having good conversation thus far. Tease him and smile while you do so. Tilt your head to one side while raising a shoulder and play with your hair. When he sees you alone, always look really interested in what you are doing, and smile a lot. Look like you are approachable and hold your head high.
When you ask him out, do so in a way that's casual. Maybe when both of you are sortof alone and bored after school just say you have nothing to do would he want to chill at the park for a bit? Or something like that. Or don't even ask. Just start casually talking to him and see if he continues the conversation, and then start walking there and see if he will follow. The trick is to look available and like you are an interesting person to talk to, like you are slightly interested, but aloof about it so that either one of you could back out at any time. If he's not interested at all because he doesn't notice you, play up the flirtation and get him to notice. Talk to him and smile and tease him a bit. If he isn't interested because you are overdoing it, don't always be the first one to approach him and walk away a bit while smiling if he catches your eye. It's always a fine balance, but if you like him it doesn't usually work to ignore him completely.
Now to answer your original question. A guy who likes a girl is a little different in every case, though mostly you can tell through gut instinct. Usually they will have a different expression in their eyes when they look at you; their gaze will be more intense. They'll either look at you a lot more often or start looking down and maybe even blushing when they catch your gaze. They may start to follow you, or spend time talking to you for no reason at all when you see them in the hallways. If they are going someplace with you and some friends, they will choose to sit by your side. They may start to stutter, or not think as clearly in your presence, or smile a lot more than they normally would. If you touch a guy who likes you they'll sort of melt, breathe deeply, and collapse their chests (well, if you lean against them), and they may tease you more than usual. Mostly you'll know by the expression in their eyes.
Anyway. Don't be invisible, take a chance and see where it goes. Good luck!
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I think the best thing you could do is walk right up to him and tell him that you like him. Preferably when he's not around all his friends, if you think he'd be embarrassed. That way, he knows that you're not a crazy stalker, and you'll get a straight answer from him. If he doesn't like you, it's not the end of the world. Surely he's not the only guy in the whole school!
Good luck!
-LM
[15/f]
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