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Hey guys!
My question is pretty simple. I'm feeling really lonely and I was wondering if anyone knew what to do in these types of situations. Not like sexual lonely haha just friends lonely. I've drifted away from my current friends because they've pretty much gone down the wrong road in terms of drugs, sex, and most everything else correlated with teenage life. I'm 17 at the moment and will be turning 18 in a month, so I figure that maybe the club scene might help me branch out more. I have a myspace, many friends, but like most of ya'll, it doesn't mean anything. So I guess to break it down, what should I do? I'm pretty outgoing and I like to meet new people, but I'm really shy. I know some will say "overcome your shyness" and what not, but that's something I have to work on, on my own. Maybe you can be my friend and chat with me? Anyway, thanks and answers will be appreciated.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You can still hang out with your friends just don't go down the road they're going.If you're interested in any sports join that. That's in easy way to make friends! Even join clubs!
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Just because your friends have been down the "wrong road" doesn't always mean you need to stop being friends with them... I mean, if you are really lonely you could always talk to them on the phone, or get together in a way where you know you wouldn't be pressured into anything (ei, if it's just you and them and you're hanging out casually it's less likely they'll pressure you to do drugs than if there are tons of people around you doing it).
Anyway, I guess mainly what you are looking for is a new group of friends? The club scene might not be entirely what you are looking for in this case (if you mean the ones with the bouncers and music, that kind of club) since there will be a lot of people possibly into the things that turned you off your old friends in the first place. However, the other type of clubs - school clubs, after school clubs, religious clubs, and that sort of thing - this is a great idea because it lets you get to know people without any of the pressure to have good conversation when you first meet. Get involved - if you join a sports team, cheer other people on. Joining something like debating or some kind of social planning club could actually help you kick the shyness just by being forced to speak up and be a part of something.
Myspace is actually also a good idea, not to meet people, but to get to know acquaintances better. Say you met someone once at your school, but never really got to know them. First you could open a conversation online. Say you like their profile picture, or just say hi, that kindof thing. Then they will reply something simple back, like another hi, or a thank you, and then you can make a comment that ventures a little further, like how are you doing, or you can never find good profile pictures, that sort of thing. Soon you will have conversation, and no one will think it's weird if it it fizzles out or if you initiate conversation a lot since you are online, and everyone is bored and randomly talking to everyone. Then you can ask them to go somewhere with you, like, you really want to see a movie and no one will go with you and maybe the person you are talking to likes the same movie. Casual stuff like that.
If you are shy it might be nice to find a group of people (part of a club, or a sort of clique thing that sits together a lot at lunch) that are friendly looking, not into behavior that turns you off, and that look inclusive. You can then do the simple act of sitting with someone there at classes or in lunch and start talking to them about something, anything. Smile and look friendly, and see if they will talk to you. Say hi to people you've talked to before, or that are in your classes in the hallways. If you are shyer, it might be a good idea to try to get to know the more talkative people first as they will help get the conversation going. Being part of some sort of group is a little like being in a club because then you automatically have some way of spending time with people and of feeling less lonely.
Talk to people in your classes and in clubs you join. I guess you're right that it's a little of your own thing to deal with; just try to remember how much it sucks to be lonely and how much better it is to have taken that chance to open up to people, even if you do end up making a fool of yourself. IF you don't take a chance on things such as talking to that person that one time - you could be there friend or not, but if you never talk to them you'll never know.
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Join a youth group of a church.
Church friendships last a lifetime.
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