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afraid!!!
14/f
ok well my bf and i have been going out for 10 or 11 months. we dont hold hands (only have once), we barely ever kiss and when we do its a peck on the lips, and we do hug alot, he doesnt really tell me how much he loves me, and im kinda tired waiting for him to make a move, beacuse im afraid to! i dont know what to do! i love him, but im afraid of making any move, kissing him, holding hands, ect.
what should i do??? im a bit upset b/c he acts like a kid most of the time (b/c of his younger siblings) and he made fun of alot b/c hes chubby (b/c he had a type of cancer, and the chemo made him gain weight)
what should i do??? how can i get enough courage to make a move???
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You probably won't want to hear this, but it's the truth and i'm going to try to make it sound as nice as possible.
You're 14, and you can't expect to have a real boyfriend at that age. What you've said that you're doing with him is really not dating, and therefore this guy is just someone who you like, and he apparently likes you back. But that's not dating. That's interest. There's nothing wrong with that, though.
Also another reality check is that boys are typically 2 years younger maturity-wise compared to girls (a 14-year-old boy would have the maturity of a 12-year-old girl) and i'd say about 98% of 14-yr-old boys are not interested/ready for kissing or "making a move" on some girl. Girls are ready for this at a much younger age, but boys are just not.
My bottom line is: if you aren't seeing somebody one-on-one outside of school/work for dates then that's not a relationship. or "going out".
And if you do "make a move" on him, he'll be really scared and he'll probably never talk to you again. (not because of YOU, but because he's a 14-year-old boy and he's just not ready)
My advice to you is- forget about this boy, and talk to some boys who are maybe 1-2 years older than you are. Maybe one of them will ask you out. That way you can actually have a boyfriend who will kiss you and do the things that you want to do, because he's 16 and not 14.
i hope i helped.
please don't take this as trying to be mean, it's just a fact of life!
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He may feel guilty about something.
I'd talk to him about it.
If he says no, look for signs that he might be lying.
Looking down, or in different directions, shaking, sweating, etc.
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Maybe having cancer has made him re-evaluate things. So normally he would have made a move months ago- but maybe he's just lost self-confidence. He might not know how you'll react to him making the first move. He's in a time of his life where things take time and careful consideration. He may not have his life straight- so his feelings for you might not come off right. I would hope you would understand this =D. If it really gets to be a problem- and you feel like you need more from him- all you have left to do is either make the first move or talk to him and ask him if he's doing all right. Guys are already confusing at this age- so maybe he doesn't realize you are wanting more. But if he wants to take it slow and remain at your current speed- you have to respect that.
Oh- and if you decide to make the first move- just think about what you're going to do- and just do it. Don't think at all about what he'll think. Doing that will just lead to doubt. Maybe he wants YOU to make the first move. He's your boyfriend- so don't feel embarrassed to grab for his hand, kiss him longer, etc. Just have the best thoughts in mind- and you'll be fine.
Good luck!
--Jack
(15/m)
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