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May be my soul mate
I had been going with this one guy for say 7 or 8 months and we did everything together, he would proceed to see me from 1 to 3 times a week and always told me from the start of our relationship that we were only friends and when he bought me things he also told me not to take it wrong as we were only friends so after about a 3 months relationship, I decided to test his feelings for me and told him that I got an offer to go to eat with someone and that was when he stopped seeing me for a couple of weeks, so after calling him repeatedly without an answer, I was almost ready to give up on us when I tried one more call and he anwered and came by to repair some stuff for me so our relationship continued for another 4 or 5 months and I did not see anyone else but I have to say I was getting bored as we did nothing for fun, he was more or less a handyman during this time, he still would not relate to me how he felt, although when I had relativies from out of state he initiated the meeting at his place and it went well. but still no talk of how he felt about me except friendship came up alot and it was not long after that I decided to test his feelings for me again and I had the chance to date someone else and we danced but that was all as I still have strong feelings for my ex- boyfriend, he always said to go have fun as he could not keep up with me and wanted me to find someone that I could have fun with and that would make me happy, but when he found out that I had gone out with someone new they drove me there, he then told me bye over the phone and that was the end of our relationship, I still think of him and miss him to no end. Can anyone tell me how I can make this right and get him to forgive me. I did not know his feelings about me at all and I found out the hard way. Oh yes I am a female and I am over 50 yrs.
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Ok firstly, he cannot forgive you because you have done nothing wrong! He told you to go out with other people and you did. He is just jelous. It isn't your fault he didn't tell you how he felt in the first place!
If i were you, i would just lay low for a while. Act as if your not missing him and you dont need him etc. Play hard to get ;) This might make him realise that he wants you! Because its obvious that he does, he might just not realise it properly yet.If this does not work and he doesn't try to call you or anything then give him a call and ask him to go for a drink or something and then just talk to him and tell him how you feel. I know this proberbly what everybody says but im sure your both old enough to act mature about it. Anyways if he still acts the same as he does now after you have spoke to him, then im sure he is jus another one of those guys who is a dick and you can do better! Hope i helped =] Good Luck x x
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Hi, I am a female over 50 too, so I can relate. I honestly think that he is trying to control you. He tells you one thing, but does another. He says he just wants to be friends. And even treats you that way. Even though you made it obvious that you were ready for a more committed relationship, if he should change his mind. When you gave up and took him at his word and saw someone else, he says goodbye. And you let him get away with it twice. Do you want him to have it both ways? because that is what he has with you. Some guys are committment phobic, or they want total control. And that is what he has over you. It is not fair to you that he keeps you guessing about your relationship with him. And it is normal for YOU to want to be in a committed relationship. Every woman, and many men want to know that they can count on someone to be there for them His signals are not clear. He does it on purpose. And he is very good at it.
Oh don't fear for a moment, he will be back. And you'll be so glad to have him back, that you will give up all control of your life over to him, and he still won't give you the committment that you are hoping for. But you'll be extra good so he'll stay around. And you know what is going to happen......he is going to meet some woman who won't take that from him, She'll give him an ultimatum, and he'll be gone. And he'll be able to say to you, but dear, you know I always said that we would just be friends. And you won't even have any self esteem left.
You say that you did not know his feelings for you, and that you had to find out the hard way. And you say that because you think he is hurting over your actions. That's bull. He is just manipulating you. Please do yourself a favor, look for another man to be in a relationship with. A real man, not someone who manipulates women and uses them.
Do not call him. And if he calls you, tell him what a jerk he is, and that he is a poor excuse for a man, and hang up.
And stop wishing that he would return, because when God wants to punish us, he grants our wishes.
Good luck to you dear.
You sound like a wonderful person, and someone who is not used to dealing with guys like this. There are lots of them out there. Don't date anyone unless someone you know, knows them. You are too vulnerable. At least this time just your heart was broken, it could be worse you know.
Good luck to you
Michele
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