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Invisible.
I'm tired of promisses that can't be kept. I want my Mother to look at me, and actually see me. Know me, not like a daughter but as a friend. Understand what Im going through, and make everything okay. She's never home, never talks to me like a person. She's always yelling at me for things I didn't do or should've done. I don't have a room anymore, ever sence my friend let me barrow a spare air conditioner my brother has moved in on me. I told him I want him out now, leave out of my room and he laughs at me like I can't do anything.. I woke my Mom up hoping she would do something like an idiot and she was like One niight he's fine on night he's not he's staying in here! And im like fine im sleeping in his room.. noo ur sleeping in your room so why can't he! I was saposed to go school shopping with her Saturday and she hasto work like usual! I like mesh into the wall, and she only talks to me when she wants something. She was bitching like well I haveto wake up in 6 in the morning so you both need to go to bed and I was like thats not my rpoblem scotts a drunk! Its not my fault you cant control him! And that you only get 10 dollars for gas because he cant drive himself! She's only punishing me! Always I open my mouth to be noticed and it something bad, something that threatens her. Shes already said she wants to move into a one room apartment and leave this all behind. Shes planning on leaving me and Im afraid one night she wont came home. I have a Dad yes but hes no better! Blamming me for everything because his boys cant do anything wrong. I dont wanna live here anymore. I have a friend who will take me in, but My Mom wont go for that shes always hated carolyn. I cant stand it here, she keeps threatening to not let me over there, I have really no where to go!I wanna leave. And let them forget they ever had a daughter.
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im pretty sure yu can call SRS to report them. your being neglected.
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Wow, I don't blame you for feeling so bad. I was kind of treated the same way when I was young, but at least my brother and I were both treated badly. It has to be worse for you, since your brother seems to get away with everything. Your mom (and dad) are really bad parents. Especially if they are letting your brother get drunk. And not doing anything to intervene. I am sorry that your mom only talks to you when she is yelling or wants something. That sucks, I know. You are so young though. I don't know what you can do. Staying with a friend would be great for you, but she doesn't have to let you go. Maybe in time, she will care even less, and it won't matter. I mean if you just stay there, and she doesn't come after you, and nobody, (like authorities/school) know, than you can stay. This happened to me when I was about 15, I moved in with some friends after a fight with my mom, and she didn't bother to come after me. And since I continued to go to school and stuff, no one knew any better. And my friend's family was glad to have me. YOu may have to be patient a wait a while. The more mature you become, the easier it will be to leave before you are sixteen. (Provided you have a safe place to go.)
And growing up in a home like this, makes you old before your time. You must have friends (carolyn) who don't live in homes like this.
One thing I would suggest.... I know it's hot honey, but if you got rid of that air conditioner, your brother would stop sleeping in your room. (I wouldn't want him in there eigher, if I were you.) Think of the soldiers in Iraq. It's 120 degrees there! Getting rid of the air condition put the control back into your hands. And no don't give it to him. Break it first. Push it out the widow. Hey he works and you can buy an airconditioner for about $100.00 today at WalMart. Why isn't your brother driving? Did he loose his license because he got caught drinking and driving? I wouldn't be surprised. He is a looser.
Honey, you have a very strong sense of justice. You know the difference between right and wrong. And so do your parents, but right now doing the right thing would be to difficult for them. They are weak people. You have inner strength. Don't forget that. This too will pass. Some day you will be 18, and you can leave and never go back. Just be sure you have an education and skills that can get you a good job so that you can support yourself. I ran away a couple of times, but always had to come back. You know $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. So in high school I took secretarial classes. Typing, bookkeeping, office skills. That got me a good job so I left for good at 18. Well today, if you have computer skills, which I am sure you do, that makes you employable. YOu won't make it if you just get a jjob at WalMart or McDonald's. Education is your key to getting away from this mess. Please hold on, it will be better for you in the end. And once you are out your hardest job will be to not grow up to be just like your mom. Not as easy as you may think it is. Whether we like it or not, good or bad, our parents are a great influence on us. Good luck to you dear. And leave me a private question if you like, in my in box.
Michele
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