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idk what to do..sry if this is long
Sorry this is long but..OK to start out I'm 15/f.
It started when I was 12 and in 6th grade. There was this guy named Jack and we both liked each other, but neither of us admitted it to the other...then he told me that he was going to move to another country (permanently, not just vacation). When he was there, we would sometimes talk on AIM. He admitted that he liked me, and I did the same. But eventually we lost contact because of the time differences. Well then at the end of that year, for the last quarter of school, he came back. Apparently his school in China was awful. By that time, I had a boyfriend. Jack kind of layed off talking to me at that time, because I think he didn't want to cause trouble. But I dumped my boyfriend before the school year was over, and when Jack found this out he started flirting with me again. But then he went back to China. Then the summer after 7th grade, he randomly called me and told me that he was in town and that we should play tennis. So we played out and then he asked me to a movie. (Last year I was in 8th grade by the way). So then this summer (after 8th grade), I emailed him and asked if he was going to be in town and if he wanted to play tennis. He responded and we played tennis/went swimming. It was awesome, and perfect and we really clicked. Then he called me a few days later to see if I wanted to see a movie with him...we saw a movie but nothing happened. He didn't hold my hand or anything but it almost seemed like he was trying to but couldn't get the courage to or something. Anyway, he's leaving tomorrow (I saw him last night), and I really want to have a relationship with him. He's going to be in the country this coming school year, he's going to a boarding school in the east coast. But I feel awkward initiating it, and there are so many potential problems that could happen if I admitted I liked him. 1) He could say he doesn't feel the same way (I'm pretty sure he likes me, because he was acting so charming and amazing). 2) He could say he doesn't want to have a relationship, and if that happened, if I ever saw him again it would be really awkward. 3)He could say he does like me, but then find a girl in boarding school that he likes better and break up with me. I can't get him off of my mind though. When I knew it was the last time we'd be seeing each other for a while, I just started crying. What should I do? Should I hint at liking him through email or something? The longer answer the better, thank you soo much!
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I must say, you're in a tough situation. I'll try my best to make it better though =]
Before hinting it to him, I'd ask him if he's found any girls at his boarding school. Ask if he's single, interested in a relationship, etc.
Then, find out what his true feelings for you are. Ask him if he ever thought of having more than a friendship with you. Just casually say, "You know, I think you're a really great guy and I enjoy spending time with you. Have you ever considered taking our relationship to the next level?" See how he responds to this, but don't pressure him into answering right away or in detail or anything. Let him answer when and how he wants, so he feels completely comfortable with his response. If he says yes, then great, try and have a relationship with him. It might be hard because of the distance, but as long as you have good communication and a lot of trust (which you seem like you already do), then it definitely could work. Like I said, just keep open a good line of communication, and make sure you've built up trust for one another.
If he says no, or that he justs wants to be friends, tell him that's ok, too. Don't make it awkward and ask him why, he probably just dosen't want a relationship because:
A. the distance.
B. he's afraid he'll find somebody else.
C. he just sees you as a close friend, which is fine.
As much as it may hurt, it's better to have a friendship than not have a relationship at all.
So in conclusion, let him know you're interetsed. He might be interested too, and there's nothing worse than letting a chance like this slip right past you unnoticed!
I hope everything works out well for the both of you! =]
-Laura. (15-f)
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Thankyou for your question by the way.
Well, this is a bit of a tricky situation.
Firstly, as he's flirting with you and asking you to go places with him, it does sound like he's in to you.
However, you have to think of all the possible answers.
He could just see you as a really good friend who he can count on to seeing, despite moving a lot..
Or he likes you but is afraid of what would happen to the relationship when he goes to boarding school.. Or he's nervous and doesn't know how to go about asking you to be his gilfriend.
There are more, but these are some of the main ones.
I definitely feel you should tell him. If I were in your position, I know I would.
Would you rather not tell him and never know what could come of you two? Or know an answer.. even if it's not what you want it to be.
I very much doubt if you told him and he didn't feel the same there would be awkwardness between you. It depends how you act after he tells you his answer. If he says no and you act sad and totally heartbroken, he may be scared to see you again because he doesn't want to make you upset. So let him know you're totally cool with it and it's not a problem. Say you'd rather remain friends anyway because of the complications. (even though deep inside you really ARE upset)
If he'd like you to be his girlfriend but is scared of the complications involved, reassure him.
If you both like eachother that much, it would be a waste to at least not give it a try.
I know the position you're in at the moment is rather horrible for you, but if you really want something to come of this, you have to tell him. I like your idea of hinting to him in an email.
Who knows, he could be thinking exactly the same right now but is shy to ask.
If you'd like further help, send one in the inbox. If not, let me know how it goes.
I wish you the best of luck with you and Jack sweetie.
and remember, if it all doesn't go to plan, I can guarantee you will find someone even better for you without the complications involved, given time. :)
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well i think you should tell him, yes all the risks are there, but i think there is a bigger risks of not taking a chance to be with the people you really care about... it is possible those things could happen, he could find someone else at his school, he could say he doesnt want a relationship... but it could also o this way, that he will be head over heals inlove with you and all the girls at his school wont matter and he would love nothing more than to be with you...
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