Merci beaucoup like whoa lol. And no, I don't take French. This is gonna be pretty long so grab a bag of chips and a soda.
So, this mostly takes place when school was in. Now it's the summer. I'm 15/f and let's call him Bob. Bob is 16/m & he's in a grade level higher than me. Most of my friends are, too. Including his ex girlfriend [let's call her Cindy and we'll get back to her]. I met him when school started and we were pretty flirtatious with one another and there were rumors going around about "us" and people asking me if I liked him and what not. But I'm the type of person that would deny stuff because I'm pretty shy when it gets to crushes and what not [who isn't?] So, I pretty much said no and stuff, but I think it was partially because of Cindy. All the people that were asking me were in Cindy/Bob's grade and I didn't want it getting to Cindy that I liked Bob b/c I'm her friend and she gets pretty jealous and she's the type of girl that's desperate for any guy. And Bob and Cindy were on and off for a while last year. Anywhos. So that's that. And then I went into my withdrawal time where I involuntarily push everyone away for a month or longer. That when I guess Bob and I kind of "grew apart". I pretty much tried several different things to try and get back to the way it was before I went into my withdrawal mode [whoa. that sounds really superficial in a way] but I'm pretty sure he's lost interest in me now.
So, we were like "hi in the hallway" friends for a while. Then I did the stupidest thing and put a "love" note in his locker. It pretty much said that I really liked him. Haha. Yeah, I still regret that because apparently a girl that I pretty much dislike [And yes, she's in Cindy/Bob's grade] saw me putting it into his locker & took the pleasure of telling people. Nice of her, huh? *hint the sarcasm* Well, I usually just wander around school during lunch and I stopped by the table to talk to another guy named...Fred? Sure. Fred. Well, I was talking to him and the girl that I dislike was saying "Look, there's (my name) You wouldn't want to ignore her." And yeah. That's pretty much how I found out that he knew the note writer was me. And I of course denied it. And I ended up crying because the girl and another girl was pretty much really being b.tches about it to me. And so I was semi-crying and walking to my class with my best friend and she accidentally said "well, I'm sure that Bob hasn't gone around telling it to people and he's a really nice guy" right when he walked by. I know. Great timing.
So for like a week or two after that little incident, I pretty much avoided him...a whole lot. Embarrassment? I don't know. I distracted myself with the 5 day old poster on the wall and didn't go by the lunch table at all and went around the school in the morning so I wouldn't have to sit with Bob in the morning at the same table. Hmm, sounds like I'm writing a story. Haha. Anywhos. After that I pretty much hated myself for writing the note then avoiding him so I just sat at the table in the mornings before school started. And Bob definitely paid more attention towards me but I believe it was out of ... hmm, like that thing where someone crushes on you and you think it's cute and you don't wanna make the person feel bad so you're just being friendlier? That type of thing. So I pretty much pretended as if I didn't really care about him at all and kind of pushed him away. I don't know what's wrong with me but I did. So, that's pretty much how the school year ended.
So, now it's summer and I pretty much miss talking to him. I finally started to use the myspace my friend made for me and I added him and commented him and he commented back. He's in governor school now so he can't get on the computer much. He'll be back next week though. Anywhos. Off topic. Right now, I know that we're pretty much the opposite of each other. He's the laid back philosopher type of guy and I'm the mosh pit rocker that's not very outspoken or open to many people. If that makes sense. Well, I left him a comment on myspace saying something about me having pierced my ear and something about wanting to get a corset [Yeah, I swear I'm gonna be a piercing addict when I turn 18 & I'm interested in tattoos and piercings and hair. Haha. Btw, you have very sexy hair.] And he commented back saying that he only wanted to pierce his ears once and gauge them maybe down to 10G or so. and that he'd love to see me in a corset. & I commented back saying some things about gauging and saying that I'd buy a corset if someone helped me find a tightlacing one and something about my bff and me randomly going to his house at 7 30AMish. Yeah, anywhos. I just gave you like a synopsis of our brief commenting thinger. Anywhos.
I don't know. I want Bob and me to be like the way we were at the beginning of the year, which sounds incredibly stupid and selfish. Ahh! I don't know. I wanna get his attention again and have him like me. Again, sounds very stupid and selfish and demanding. I'm not trying to be. I say that in the least stupid selfish and demanding way possible =/ I don't know. What can I do? What should I do?
Erm, just so that I don't have to make you think of another plan....
I am pretty much grounded during summer after my mom found out that I pierced my lip at my bff's house without my parents knowledge. I'm banned from my bff but I still sneak out to see her and stay in touch through the lovely email and AIM. I can't do anything with guys b/c my mom will think we're going out or something, which pretty much sucks seeing that 80% of my friens are guys. Erm, Brandon is the only guy my mom "trusts" for me to go to the mall with or over at my house. But I probably can't go to the mall anymore since she thinks I'm going to buy stuff to pierce myself with again, which I don't need to do because I have the stuff to do so at home already. Erm, yeah. My mom also thinks that if I hang out with only a guy, I'm going to get pregnant, raped, killd, drugged, drunk, kidnapped and what not.
Soo, if you have any suggestions. I'm clueless and I'm in dying need of ideas & ahh. Just any advice would help. aAnd I'll give you virtual double choco chunk cookies =)
Thanks so frigging much & I going to add you on myspace if that's possible =P
I am sorry this is taking me a very long time to respond and answer you. I had to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows this weekend- so I was barely on this weekend.
Just know that I <b>WILL</b> help you. I just haven't gotten to it yet.
Your question is the longest one I've ever seen...
It may take a few days!
**EDIT**
Alright.. I decided that I should help you now..
This is pretty hard. I can tell you like Bob- but its complicated. You obviously want him to like you. Its not selfish.. its normal.
I think you should try to talk to Bob. I think you should just be honest with him and tell him that you like him [maybe tell him you wrote the note in his locker] and how you're feeling.
I don't see that you have any other options other than to talk to him directly. I think if you are honest with him- he can be honest with you- and you can hopefully go back to your previous status at the beginning of last year. Then maybe you'll be able to get to that relationship you want..?
I don't know- that's all I really can think to do.
And thanks for the "sexy hair" comment, and yes, Harry Potter is quite the trend.
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