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I'm so confused... :'(
Okay so I have been going out with this girl for a little less than a year. I am COMPLETELY in love with her, she is literally my life. I dont get along with my family anymore and I'm now 18 so they keep threatening to kick me out, but my girlfriend says it would be okay with her dad if i moved in (i'm just setting up for the question i like to explain stuff.) I am convinced she loves me but ,heres the problem, I dont know if she truly loves me. I completely trust her sometime and others I dont. She knows how i feel about her talking to other guys about having sex and she stil does. She says it a joke, its always over texts or AIM (which i now hate AIM because when shes onine i am scared of losing her). Well needless to say after a few time of catching her talking about it she has started hiding it, ALL OF IT. But not very well and i see her hinding it. She says another guy wouldnt go through what i do go through with her, becaseu she has an Eating Disorder, since theres no names i think she would mind me sharing. But then I think well if its sex no guy will care becaseu its just sex.
Well she hides shit all the time and today i cought her big time. After she fell asleep. Everyone please dont get mad at me for this. But i logged on to her AIM and started talking to a guy i saw the words "well we could do it for SEX...)" then she closed the window and tihs was earlier. Nows shes asleep and i talked to this guy again. Apperantly he has everything planned out. He says he wants her to come party with no strings attached so the BF doesnt get mad. Then i said something about partying and what they would do (i'm impersinating her) he said they would drink, she gets really horny when she drinks and doesnt hide it but she only drinks around me so far, during the day then go back to his house and nap and/or shower. then go out and party all night and who know what else might happen after we shower... He plans on it and just hiding it but i dont know her plan. She has blown him off several time and most of the otehr guys she talks about sex with, but it scares me that the guys plan on just a good time and hidind it so the BF doesnt get mad...
I cant say how much she means to me though and now i have to get a job and that means she will ahve more alone time to do whatever. She is incredibly gorgeous and is hit on all the time and i know how guys are with you know just sex, they dont care. I'm terrified and I am actually planning on jumping this guy sometime soon because of how he just blown me off and it would all be hidden with SEX!!! I cant lose her, it would crush me. When i think of losing her i think of bad thought but they all seem so easy and a quick way out of pain. I cant do that. Does she intend on doing anythign with them or is she just leading them on and screwing with them thats why she blows them off? She told me she wouldnt do anythign like that and swore on my life she never would. Please help anyone, you dont have to answer you could jsut give advice or something. I cant function and all i can think of is the fucking asshole (sorry) dude who i would love to jsut puch right now. That was probably really jumpy and probably many typos. But i need someone to help just a little bit i cant deal with this alone all i think of is jumping that fucking klfashdl;fashgj;. It just pisses me off so much. (sorry again i'm just so mad right now, i already broke my punching bag.)
you can even email me at VTA_bum@yahoo.com
i can give you more info there and more of what is going on.
thanks in advance, i'm just so confused.
m/18
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It sounds like she just loves the attention, I think you should talk to her more tell her straight out that you dont like her joking with other guys like that, dont sugarcoat anything just say straight out that it needs to stop. Ask her if she would like it if you were doing that try and get her to realize that if the situation was switched around she would most likely feel the same way that you do. It sounds like she's not planning on doing anything but still if it bothers you this much it needs to stop. Maybe theres something behind it like she is doing it for the attention which might mean that she needs more attention from you. If she has an eating disorder she might not feel to great about herself, just try and show her that you love her alot more. Talk to her ask her if theres anything that you need to do for her to stop...i hope it gets better for you, from what it seems she does love you and doesnt mean anything by talking to the guys like that, hope i helped a little - let me know how it goes goodluck !
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okay... so you obviously REALLY care about this girl, and i bet that she's great... but, you've already talked to her about his and its not stopping. you need to take her some place quiet, solitary and reserved.. like go to the beach at night or a picnic somewhere where the two of you guys can talk about this stuff. Tell he that you talked to the guy.. and tell her that you're sorry, because in doing that you betrayed HER trust. and yeah, i agree with the advice below me because you really dont know if it was a joke, and you turned it into reality. If she is blowing the guys off, she probably isnt planning on doing anything with them.. and she just wants to flirt. all girls flirt.. regardless of whether or not they have a boyfriend. its just something that we do. if she's offering you to move in with her.. than she obv. dosnt plan on letting go of you. but sneaking around her back is most likely going to make her feel violated and that you dont trust her. which will push her away. ESPECIALLY if she catches you. so once again.. talk to her.. and make sure it sinks in to her how much it REALLY effects you, but when you talk to her, dont approach her with the whole you did this and you did that.. use the term "I" such as I feel like...
hope it helped..
Kate
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so you logged onto her AIM and played along with the guy? gee thats a great idea. how do you know its not a joke he makes every time and she always responds by laughing it off? by playing along, you might have been leading him on. hell maybe he does like your girlfriend, but that wouldnt matter, shes with you. you say shes hit on all the time, so she obviously knows she has options, yet shes still with you. you may well lose her if she finds out youve been spying on her by logging into her AIM. she might even lose her trust for you and take away the invitation to move in. and if they guy was used to her laughing it off, he might ask her what was up with "her" agreeing. i have many female friends, some with boyfriends, it doesnt matter to me, i joke with them all the same. one of them, im even actually interested in, but it doesnt matter, because she has a boyfriend. yet, we still joke about stuff like that. its normal. logging into your girlfriend's account is not.
so in short, you probably have nothing to worry about with her guy friends. you do have something to worry about when she finds out you logged into her AIM. you wouldnt probably be better off telling her yourself, since shell probably find out anyways.
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