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a hard life of love.
i have been dating this guy and i really am starting to like him. i have feelings for him that i have never felt before. i care so much for him. and i would give him the world if i had the chance. he deserves so much better then what he has had in life. his mom dropped him off when he was two years old at his grandparents house because she didnt have enough money for kids and drugs and she chose drugs. about a year or two ago, a tree fell on him and paralized his knees and now he is in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. as things were finally getting better for him (moved back in with his real dad and step mom) his real dad shot himself last night. that was all he had. i know i got to be there for him but i don`t know how. and i feel like a failure to this relationship. i promised him i would be there no matter what. but i can`t be there if i don`t know how. i tell him everything is ohkay and will be fine. but thats not good enough. i let him sleep in my bed because he didnt wanna go back to the house his dad shot himself in. but i`m not doing something right. i wanna comfort him and be the best girlfriend becuase that is what he deserves.
can someone please help me. and tell me what i can do or say to try to make things right. i really like this guy and i don`t wanna lose him.
16/f
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ok. (16/f)I definitley know how you are feeling. My boyfriend's grandma died yesterday in a car accident, and he doesn't have the best family either, abuse and such, and i want to give him the world like you do for yours.
The only thing you can say, after the sorry, and are you ok, is nothing. You just need to let it be known that you are going to be there when ever he needs you. turn on your cell and answer it anytime of night, if he's not at your house. Take him out and just talk, or try to make him laugh. Get his mind off of it. But also let him have some alone time, where he can get it out in his own way.
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Losing someone definitely hurts, especially if the person was the last person he had. And you're being a great girlfriend right now seeing that you're still with him and you haven't deserted him.
The one thing that really bothered me when I lost my granpas, uncle, and friend was people saying that they were sorry for me and saying that they understood what I was going through. The first was because I didn't want to be reminded of their deaths and I just wanted to move on. The second was mainly because I got pissed off when they said it because although I knew they were just trying to comfort me, all that ran through my head was that they couldn't possibly know what I was going through/feeling.
Try and get him to do things he enjoys & get his mind off of his dad's death. That's the best thing you can do [it was for me]. And make sure he knows that you're going to be there for him whenever he needs you even if it means taking phone calls at 4 in the morning. Tell him that you'll be his shoulder to cry on and that you won't be going around talking about this. Erm, yeah. Just stay with him and if he says he needs a break because there are too many things going on at this time, just say that you understand and that you'll be there for him when he's ready again. Even if you don't want to, understand that he's going through a tough time.
Hmm, yeah. Just be there for him no matter what =)
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