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was this good advice or not?
i have this friend tom who's kind of nerdy and has never had a girlfriend. and there's this girl amy (also pretty nerdy) who has liked tom all year. she's been convinced that tom likes her, even though he keeps saying he doesn't. well the other day tom asked me "should i go out with amy?". and i said, "yeah! if you like her!". and he said, "but i don't." (he likes all these popular girls who would never go out with him). so i told him... if you don't like her at all, then don't go out with her. but if you like her a little, then give it a try and see how it goes. so he asked her out, and now she's all excited. but now im wondering if that was good advice or not. cuz if he really doesnt like her that much, and is just going out with her to have a gf, then that's probably not good. but on the other hand, if he waits around for miss perfect cheerleader, he'll be waitin a lonnnggg time. idk... what would you have told him??
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I think you gave Tom some good advice, but I think you should encourage him to make his intentions with Amy clear to her. Maybe he can tell her that this is just a casual date and he would like to see where things go. That way if she gets her hopes up, it's no one's fault but her own. As of right now, I don't think you should worry because you haven't done anything wrong. You were just trying to be a good friend and make a couple nerds happy. Ha.
In all seriousness though, you shouldn't worry about what happens. You might have brought the idea to his attention, but you didn't force him and he could have said "no." He didn't though, so whatever happens between him and her is all on them. It's out of your hands now. All you can do is sit back and watch what happens.
Here's a bit of advice though for future reference - friends don't always want advice and they don't always want to be set up, even when they complain! This is a lesson I've recently had to learn the hard way, but sometimes when friends come to you to bitch and moan, they don't want you to find a solution or help them come to a decision. Sometimes all they want is just a willing ear to bitch and moan to. So in the future, when your friends have a problem and you feel like you have the solution, the best thing you can do is keep it to yourself until they ask for help.
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No, that was just the right advice to give, because first of all, when a guy likes a girl, they usually don't brag about it and they deny their love, but i'm sure he does like her or at least admires her or even has a crush on her, and with you giving the right advice, then he'll probably go out with her and maybe see what a great person she is and this crush would develop into the love he denied or something. Its totally no problem to give it a try, and if it works between him and amy, then he'd be moving on with his life with someone he loves and he'd forget all about the silly dream of dating popular people.
On the other hand, if things did not work between them, then its not your fault, and don't blame yourself for giving him this piece of advice, because then, it would just be that things did not work between them and they were not meant to be together.
So just don't worry over the issue of the right or wrong advice you gave, because its right and and anyone in the same situation would say the same thing you told him. But just make sure to encourage him before going out, and make him feel positive about this date, so he wouldn't like go by force and things would get screwed and stuff, and then amy would just get upset about this all.
Thats it, and if you would like any further help, please be free to contact me, and I hope all goes well. Goodluck:)
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