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i dont like him, or do i?
14/f
Ok well I’m sorry if this is long, but I don’t know what’s going on so bear with me. And I’m not really sure what advice I need. Well, I am transferring to a new school, and I know some girls from skating who go there already. So they introduced me to their friends, and I talk to their friends daily online or on facebook. One of their guy friends and I became so close. We would talk daily online and he would flirt with me. Then he and one of his friends who I knew started going out. And I was fine with it. I was still friends with both of them and I still talked to both of them. Then the boy, we can call him Tim, continued flirting with me. He would always say I love you and I would feel really awkward because I would have just said it back and know it would not mean anything, but he could use it against me or something so I would just be like haha yeah. So then we sort of got into this fight about how I just wanted him to stop saying I love you, and he sort of did. He still flirted with me though. Then he started talking to one of my other friends from my old school (by talking I’m always referring to online). And I started to get mad, but I don’t know why. Was I jealous? Cause I don’t really know if I like him or not because the girl who he went out with, lets call her Gina, started saying really mean things about him and saying he was psycho and stuff like that. Of course, I laughed and was like yea omg I hate him so much hes real annoying, but inside I didn’t think that at all. And I don’t want to like him, but I think I do. I don’t know what to do or what to say to him. And every time we are online he will IM me and be like hi whats up. Like I said, I don’t want to like him but I think I do cause I got jealous of him talking to this other girl. And im really boy shy, so I don’t really flirt with him, and telling him I think I like him would be really awkward and uncomfortable for me. What should I do? Should I go with my feelings or should I find a way to get over him? AHHH HELP!
Sorry its long, and if you respond to this thank you for reading it and stuff.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, only you can tell whether you really like him or not. But here are a couple things to think about...
Sometimes, when we find out that someone likes us (or believe that they do), it makes us like them back. Not because we actually *like* them, but because it feels good to be liked and we appreciate them for their good taste! It might be a person that you normally wouldn't be attracted to... but as soon as they start acting like they like you, it sort of changes the way you feel about them. So it's possible that your feelings for Tim are just a response to him being so friendly and saying "I love you" and stuff.
However you actually feel... I think it's probably normal that you'd feel a little jealous when he says that stuff to other girls. Even if you don't really *like him* like him!
It's sort of like a little kid who has a toy they don't really like that much... but as soon as a friend starts playing with it, suddenly they want it! It's a natural reaction, I guess. When someone starts taking what we think of as "ours", it makes us want it! Even though we normally don't want it. I know, it's weird... but for some reason we do that sometimes!
Maybe some of this might help explain what you're feeling. Of course, it's possible that you really DO like him, for the person he is! You'll just have to keep giving it some thought to find out how you really feel about him.
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The fact that he said "I love you" to the other girl probably means that it wasn't anything very personal when he said it to you. I hate to brake it to you, but I think you have a crush on him. You do not need to finalize this statement, because whether you have a crush on Tim or not doesn't really matter right now, because eventually you will feel either one way or another. At the moment, you are caught in the process of your mind trying to decide. But, I mean, you were jealous that he was talking to that other girl, so it's one point for the fact you might have a crush on him. You went along with the fact that he was annoying to your friend, but inside you did not believe that at all. Another supporting point to the "you have a crush on Tim" theory, because you tried to hide your impression of him. If he was just a friend, why would it matter if you dissagreed with your friend about how annoying a guy was? And you said you were boy shy, so that covers the completely surprised yet subtle reaction to him saying "I love you". (Must have been weird. I probably would have reacted the same way, lol!) My advice to you would be to NOT say anything like "I think I like you" because you're right, it would be awkward when you see him in person, and if you're boy shy, it would be hard enough saying "I like you" to a guy. Definitely don't let him in on ANYTHING when you aren't even sure. Don' t give him any ideas. Sort things out for yourself first. I don't see any reason for you to try to get over him, though, because who cares if your friend thinks he's annoying? If she bugs you (if you ever go out with him or tell her you like him) then just say that he's not really that bad [any more?]. Just act cool about it and deal with him in a normal way, don't make him think anything's up. If you decide you have a crush on him, then you should be prepared to answer questions to your friends and should think out what you want to say to him. But make sure you don't tell him you like him if he already has a girlfriend at the time. Because that makes it awkward because he can't go out with you (PLEASE don't cheat, it will screw things up) and your secret is out in the open without any results. :P Which would stink. Hopefully I have helped you a bit, because it really stinks when you're like, "ugh...do I like him...or not???" over and over and you can't get to sleep at night. I hope things work out for you!
Sincerely,
SlushPuppy
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