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About MEN! Only guys answer please.
Ok im having some..issues with my boyfriend and i would like it if only guys would answer this.
Well for one, i really dont like some of the things he does. I don't want to tell him all the time not to do stuff but i really wish he wouldn't. For instance, he likes to go for walks during the middle of the night. I get scared because i don't want anything to happen to him! Another thing is when he does stupid things. For example, standing on the roof with his sisters boyfriend or standing in the middle of the road for 'fun' or throwing scissors in the air to try and stick them in the ceiling because hes 'bored'. He promised me he wouldn't do anything stupid anymore but he's broken that like 3 times! What should i do??
Ok and two. His jelousy. Is it normal for a guy to be jelous of EVERY guy his girlfriend talks to? Like my bestfriend is a guy ok and i can understand why he would be jelous cuz i hug him and talk to him and stuff but he's always telling me he's gona beat him up and it makes me soo upset. Everytime i talk to a guy he gets angry at me then he wants to beat up the guy. Like is this normal?? Does every guy act like this?? I know hes being protective of me and its cute but it's starting to get out of hand. I mean one of his friends called me hot and he punched him!
The 3rd thing is that he kind of doesn't let me do things but he's alowd to. Like im not alowd to have guy friends even though my bestfriend is a guy he HATES it and im not alowd to talk to ANY other guys and especially not guys when im walking down the street or at the mall, but when he goes out somewhere and a girl talks to him it's like he's alowd to. He told me im not alowd to walk around when it's dark at all because i might get hurt but he goes out by himself every night to walk down to the park and call me.
I love him to death but it's like he can do whatever he wants and i cant. If i talk to a guy he gets soo jelous and gets mad at me and interrogartes me then ends up being upset at me for ages but when he talks to girls or a girl is flirty towards him and i get jelous he's like "oo your jelous cute" then its like "just get over it" and he ends up being mad at me! I've tried talking to him more than once and he says he'll try to be better but it always ends up the same way. What am i supposed to do?
I want a guys opinion because then i could have a better understanding of my boyfriends mind -_-
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Oo, where to start...
It's not 'normal' as such for a guy to be like that. I've seen a lot of guys who are that way and even one of my ex-best friends (who was a girl) had a goyfriend who was EXACTLY the same as that. He hated me and her talking or hanging out and it got to the point where he made her choose between me and him and obviously she loved him and picked him. I had no problem with that but I found it ironic and now I no longer hear from her at all, I don't even consider her a friend anymore and it's ok, I have new friends and such. It was just a shock that he went to those lengths - he was with her the same as how your boyfriend is with you except for the beating up part - he couldn't make threats like that with me. :]
I think a guy being jealous is normal to a degree but there's a fine line between being jealous and being obsessive. Your boyfriend seems to be a bit obsessive to the point that he's treating you more like his own property instead of his girlfriend. People find it very hard to change and for him to change the way he is it will not be very easy - especially with jealousy. It's a very, very difficult emotion to control.
First and foremost if he wants to throw scissors about and such then leave it to him. If he hasn't stopped already then he just won't. It seems his antics (the scissors, standing in the middle of the road and such) are just pathetic attempts at getting attention or making you worry and nothing more. It's just childish behavious and the best thing to do even though it's easy for me to say, is ignore it. Although it's pretty hard to be hit by a car standing in the middle of the road (generally cars drive on the left and the right - not in the middle) if it happens it will happen and I can pretty much guarantee he won't do it again after that. I don't think it's any selfdestructive urges in him I think it's just him trying to get attention.
As for the jealousy and all the rules, I think you need to take firm action on the situation and make it clear you do love him but you are getting fed up of things. Unless you do something about it you will be living in his shadow and the last thing any person in a relationship should have to do is pick between their partner and their friends. No relationship is a 100% guarantee so when you've pushed all your friends away and then (for example) you both break up, you're going to end up with no boyfriend AND no friends becuase he already chased them all off. I also find nothing wrong with hugging your friend or even the kiss on the cheek. It's also typical that he does exactly the opposite of what he doesn't want you to do - like the talking to guys and such.
All I can say is that kind of behaviour is not normal or at least is not the kind of thing I would expect to see in a normal relationship. It may seem sweet at first but it does get to the point where it's too much and like I said above - he is starting to treat you more and more like an object than a girlfriend. You are NOT his property. You are his girlfriend, yes. But that doesn't mean he owns you. You shouldn't have to give up your friends or what you want to do just because he gets jealous because you're not exactly doing anything wrong (obviously if you were cheating on him or taking drugs and such then he'd have a reason but this is obviously not the case). I think the best thing you can do is try to have a chat with him one more time to resolve this whole thing. Tell him what the problem is and make it clear you are starting to get annoyed with it. you want him to be your boyfriend not your dad (no ofence intended to him) telling you what you can and can't do. If things still fail to change then you may have a decision to make regarding whether or not this guy is really the right guy for you. :[ For starters though I think the best thing to dois talk to him and be straight with him about how you feel about all these rules and such he is enforcing. If he says he will change then point out he has said the same thing before and it works for a while then he's back to himself again so that's not working. Try to resolve the situation. Your boyfriend just needs to remember that even though you have male friends, guys who say they think your hott etc, etc, etc you have chosen to be with him and not them. He is the one you love (as a boyfriend) and not them but you are not willing/wanting to have to choose between him and your friends. That's very unfair.
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well, guys always promise and sometimes they lie.. haha buh umm maybe u should juss talk to him in serious level.. tell him your worried if he stabs himself if the scissors fall back down from the ceiling and he probly walks around at night to smoke..??
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