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nervous ..
well im a bagger at a grocery store .. dont get me wrong i like it, i just always get nervous when i have to work and i like cry. im just shy and i cannotttt talk to anyone and i always scared im doing something wrong. i wanna feel comfortable and i dont wanna get so nervous and scared. how can i feel better? thanks<3
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I agree with the person below. You should also consider switching jobs to where you don't have to talk to people if it gets very serious. Or just try to make small talk with them. While you walk, you can start a conversation like: "How are you? It's been raining for weeks now!" :Did you see the game last week?" "Hi, nice to meet you. You're daughter if so cute!"
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If your nervousness is getting to the point to where it's causing you to cry, you may have an anxiety disorder. You should consider talking to a therapist or a school counselor who can help you through this. There's many things you can do about it, and there are even medications that you can take, but they should be used ONLY as a last resort.
One thing you might be doing is associating the experience as a whole with your past experiences. Just because you've been nervous there before doesn't mean you're always going to be nervous there. Unfortunately, if you prepare yourself to be nervous and tell yourself it's going to be bad, you are going to be nervous and it will be bad.
You're more than likely setting yourself up for failure. Instead of making a bad situation worse, try tricking the situation out by not responding to it the way it's anticipating you to respond. If you get nervous, just let it happen. Stay positive and in control. Once the anxiety realizes it has no affect on you, it'll stop coming back.
You have to gain control by letting go of the control. If you expect to control how you feel, you're going to be disappointed, but you CAN control how you react and that determines how you feel. If you react cool and calm even when anxiety is present, in time it'll fade away. Instead of overreacting to it, underreact to it.
When you're nervous and you overreact to it, your body goes into fight or flight mode and a message is sent to your brain that says it's time to prepare for danger. Then your brain releases a chemical called adrenaline into your body which prepares your body to react. When you overreact, another message is sent to your brain....it becomes a cycle.
However, when you're nervous and you underreact to it by accepting it and not focusing on it, your body doesn't send a message to your brain calling for backup. It just calms down and fades away - it comes and goes. So even though you can't keep the nervousness from coming, you can keep it from staying and getting worse. That is true control.
Everyone is nervous and everyone deals with anxiety; you just have to deal with it in a positive, appropriate way. Consider doing some research on CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy. Also, do some research on deep breathing. Deep breathing and muscle relaxation techniques can make a world of difference. Good luck. I wish you well. :)
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I think that you may have SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) because it is in no way normal for you to tear up over going to work. I can understand maybe a big performace, but there is something wrong if it is happening in normal social situations. You should probably see a therapist because there are medications that will help you, however if you can't afford that or don't want to then I will give you some tips to help boost your confidence.
I think one main thing that is making you feel this way if your self esteem. I know all about that because I used to feel so bad about myself, but then I lost weight and now I am way more confident. I'm not saying that your issue is your weight...maybe it is, idk. It could be more than one thing,but whatever it is you need to overcome it. Either fix it, if its possible (ie lose weight, excercize) or simply accept it and be proud of who you are. It doesn't matter if you dont like ur appearance or your personality, there are ways to like it. This may sound corny, but stand in front of a mirror and list your good qualities and what you love about yourself. Focus on that, not your bad ones. Think about the fact that if people are going to judge you then there is nothing you can do about it and its not your fault its theres. That is key. When people gossip it is because THEY are insecure, so dont let that get you down. Be proud of who you are and where you come from. Another thing is to laugh at yourself. You seem to be so much of a perfectionist that you cant take doing something wrong. ITs ok we all make mistakes. but try to laugh at yourself if you mess up a word or if you bag something wrong just apologize and believe me, the customer will smile at you and say its ok. Dont worry if they dont though because some people are just not as friendly as they should be. You dont need to be scared of other people because they arent going to hurt and just think the worst thing that can happen at your job is you make a mistake. its ok, no ones going to die and it can easily be fixed. Just be positive and people will love you.
Hope that helped at least a litte.
WiNTEROMANCEx
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