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what do you think about this poem?
You told me your moving miles away
I couldn’t say anything, left me speechless Didn’t want to get hurt, so I tried to drift away
I was scared, it was like me trapped in the darkness
She began to notice, and asked me why I’ve been ignoring her
I knew I was avoiding her but I denied and said her “I’m not “
I tried to act so cold like I didn’t care, and avoided her like she was a stranger
But the pain is getting stronger each day and its hurting me like I was shot
Time passes by, it seems like we don’t really talk anymore
But I thought about the good and bad times we had
Like we always talk to each other and talked about deep thoughts…before
But now we don’t, what happened?It was my fault for distancing myself from you I felt bad
So I wrote her a goodbye letter, and gave it her with my teary eyes
Trying not to be sad and pretending I’m okay
Tomorrow is her last day, and my mind was fulled with goodbyes
I couldn’t sleep, my heart was being so fast like I was being chased by a lion in railway
Last time I’m gonna see her, I told myself not to cry and say bye
When the bell rang, my heart was already pounding I couldn’t take it
My teardrops starting to come out and I began to cry
More than I thought, she tried to cheer up but she couldn’t so she quit
She left me behind, I was blaming myself for everything
I didn’t want to cry she turned back one last time
I regret everything I did and I’m still crying
It was like a rain, teardrops wont stop falling in school time
I found myself thinking….
One day, I’ll see my friend again and be happy again someday, sometime…
i know theres a lot of mistakes but do you think its deep poem?
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I thought it was really good!! honestly!! i completely got the point of it and it was really well writen. I reviewed it and made some corrections but you dont have to use them if you dont want...just thought they might help!
keep up the good work!!!
xokaitox
You told me your moving miles away
I couldn’t say anything, left me speechless Didn’t want to get hurt, so I tried to drift away
I was scared, it was like I was trapped in the darkness.
She began to notice, and asked me why I’ve been ignoring her
I knew it was true but I denied and said "I’m not"
I tried to act so cold like I didn’t care, and avoided her like she was a stranger
But the pain is getting stronger each day and its hurting me like I was shot
Time passes by, it seems like we don’t really talk anymore
But I thought about the good and bad times we had.
Like we always talk to eachother,
and talked about our deep thoughts...before
But now we don’t, what happened?It was my fault for building the wall around myself from you.
I felt sorry.
So I wrote her a goodbye letter, and gave it her with my teary eyes,
Trying not to be sad and pretending I’m okay.
Tomorrow is her last day, and my mind was filled with goodbyes.
I couldn’t sleep, my heart was beating faster than a "mile a minute".
Last time I’m gonna see her, I told myself not to cry and say goodbye.
When the bell rang, my heart was already pounding.
I couldn’t take it.
Teardrops starting to pour out and I began to cry.
More than I thought, she tried to cheer me up, but she couldn’t so she stopped.
She left me behind. I was blaming myself for everything.
I didn’t want to cry.
She'd turned back one last time.
I regret everything I did and I’m still crying.
It was like a rain, the teardrops wont stop falling.
I found myself thinking…
One day, I’ll see my friend. One day, and I'll be happy once again.
sometime…
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