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You'll love this...
So I just came out of a 24 hour relationship...Amazing, right? Not really. This is probably my 10th boyfriend and all of the previous ones have been jerks too me, I was so tired of it. Then this kid Gary was talking to me, and he dropped a few hints that he liked me, and then I dropped a few hints that I liked him back..But see, we only met once, and then we started talking on myspace and on the phone..
Then he was going to ask me out, and I told him I didn't really know, because if he met me after we started going out, he might think of me differently...
You know how someone talks to you for a long time, and you get a picture of how the person is, and then when you meet them, they're totally different?
Well that's what I ment, and he told me it wasn't going to be like that. He also told me that he'd treat me right unlike my exes and he's a really sweet guy too, and even like my friends that know him say he's really nice too, even my stepmom knew who he was, and said he was nice.
So he told me to don't worry because nothing will change, so we started going out. The next day we went to the pool and we started to hang. Normally I'm shy at first and then I get a little more comfortable. I thought everything was going all right, but like later he dropped another hint that "maybe you were right about us thinking that we are totally different then what we expected."
So i'm thinking, crap...
So later that night he broke up with me.
Great, he lied to me. BIG TIME. Thanks to him I'm like not trusting any guys for now on, because i've had 10 boyfriends who've done the same exact thing, and it's ughh...horrible!
So yah, he called, and said he only sees me as a friend. I'm just playing cool cuz yah know it would be retarded for me to start crying on the phone...Then he said he still wants to hang with me, like that'll happen! Normally I come to a point where I only have people who bring something into my life, why would I still want to hang with him? I wouldn't want to hang with him and pretend like everythings "okay"...
So yah, we were still on the phone, and he got another call, and I wasn't going to wait, so I hung up and turned off my cell and I started to cry...Pathetic, I know. But, I mean it's just hard how he said he wasn't going to be mean to me and lie to me and crap when he kind of did.
Atleast he did it now and not later so everything would be like worse..
And now I don't know what to do. I tell myself I don't want to date anymore 'cuz it's hurtful and nothing ever good comes out of it, for me...What should I do? I'm a nervous wreckk...ahh god here I go crying again..
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Why do chicks dig jerks?
Copyright © 1996 Drew Mcpherson
The human condition promotes learning through trial and error; it is a fatiguing and often frustrating means of education. Women are excellent teachers of the bitter lesson that being a nice guy does not get a man laid. An "average" guy (who is often the one most capable of love and trust) is routinely brushed off as a "loser", and passed over for an abusive jerk who screeches up in a Porsche, scores, and disappears. So in a woman's mind, if a man is nice, he's weak. The nice guy wanders through life in a state of psychic castration, his heart scarred by the talons of female avarice and flawed psychology. He is a poor fool who has listened too literally to the women who lie that what they want from men is adoration and understanding. He has not suffered enough trial and error to lay bare the clandestine agendas of the female gender. So the nice guy has to settle for the vicarious company of flirting with a photo in a magazine delivered in a plain brown wrapper. But what of the "bad boy" phenomenon? Every man knows, or has seen in action, that the more he abuses women, the more successful he will be in attracting them; and the nicer he is, the more likely he will wind up as a "friend". But most men are socialized to cultivate harmony, not discord, and so they refuse to participate in such pathology. Most men are nice guys, who have no interest in acting like jerks to women. Logic would suggest that a woman would want to avoid being brutalized, so why then does she so lustfully climb up on the back of a Harley, instead of, as usual, wait for a limo to appear? The answer has to be unraveled from the tangled mess of feminine psychology. What a woman really wants is a rich bastard who turns out in the end to be a nice guy-he is the storybook hero of her novels and soap operas. But she will settle-for the short term, at least-for a poor thug who can offer her excitement. In her muddled vision of the world, she equates abusive behavior with earning power, because she assumes that television and the movies actually mirror reality, so that successful men are always conniving, ruthless, and underhanded. Bad boys are untamed and reckless and charged with sexuality. They are a "challenge" (meaning that they don't instantly fall prey to her Pussy Power). Flexing their Neanderthal biceps they are apt to drag her off to the nearest cave, and she can feel-for once-powerless in their grip, a rape fantasy come to life. A woman's hormone-driven "logic" will equate excitement with money, at least until she tires of eating at taco joints. She glories in the sensation of raw adventure-it is the same thrill which ripples through her when a rich boyfriend pampers her and indulges her every whim. For as long as she dallies with the bad boy-and it will be brief because his budget is in his pants-she can afford to let herself be wild, to experience unfettered humanity, to freely express her sexuality as nature intended. For a few racing heartbeats she will cease to be a whore and become a human being. And when the fling is over, her "morality" has not been compromised in any way-she can reconstruct her delusional self-image by accusing the bad boy of abusing her.
The average woman is a spoiled child, a selfish and arrogant bundle of desires, raised to be a rapacious taker from men. By the age of 5 or 6 a little girl has learned to scramble up onto Daddy's lap and to manipulate him with flowing tears or a sly look or a downturned face. He responds by taking care of her every need. Daddy is only nobly trying to insulate his little girl from what he knows to be a hard world, but unfortunately he's green-lighting her future as an abuser of men. She has already begun to grasp the raw power of her femininity-by acting "female" she can get anything she wants from a man. For some reason these tactics don't seem to work very well on Mommy, so she understands that her power draws its energy from the opposite gender. By the time her breasts begin to swell and her figure rounds into soft curves, she's discovered exactly how this power works. She is well aware of the effect she has on the boys around her, how much they seem to lust after her ripening body. The more they want her, the more she realizes the value of her commodity. She exults in her new-found strength, sensing its awesome potential, and even chuckles haughtily to herself at the boys who ogle her when she wiggles by. She understands that she is in control-this is something she can use to her advantage. It is the birth of an attitude which will ruin normal relationships with men for the rest of her life.
Meanwhile, Mom and Church, witnessing the verge of her womanhood, begin to instruct her to withhold sex, sermonizing that her body is a "gift" which she must save to give to "someone special". But it's too late. She's already learned that it's not a gift, but stock in trade-boys are waiting in line to bring her presents and compete for her attention. She really doesn't understand what all the fuss is about, why they are so intent on "getting into her pants". She has already assimilated the knowledge that her body is a tool, to be used for gain, not pleasure. Her mother continually warns her that "nice girls don't", and the more she holds out, the bigger the pile of presents grows. She doesn't realize that "nice girls don't" is just a euphemism for dishonest prostitution; that as she flirts and sticks out her breasts and wears sexually provocative clothing she is exchanging the promise of sex for gifts (money). And Mom is frantic to make sure that she remains a "good girl" (dishonest whore), so she teaches her that if a boy really likes you, he'll: take you out (spend money on you); date you exclusively (he's willing to let you train him, and he won't be wasting the resources he could be giving to you on other girls); and not demand sex in return (play the game by your rules, so that you can extort as much money as possible from him without obligation before surrendering your "gift", if you do at all). Mom is teaching her that for women, love is power; for men, it is enslavement. The greater a man's sexual needs, the more obedient he will be forced to become. If she manages her "gift" astutely, the payoff will be a lifetime of ease without her ever having to lift a finger.
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Actually, he didn't lie to you THAT much. He told you it would work, it was what he was hoping and thinking would happen. Nobody, including him and you knew it would end that easily. Maybe he knew you weren't comfortable around him, guys can sense that, and they don't like it. Atleast, he still wants to hang out with you, and doesn't want to "hook-up," so he's not a jerk, at all. Everyone said he was nice. You should hang out with him, you don't just hang out with guys because you want to become bf/gf with them, you need to make guy friends, it makes you more comfortable around other guys. He wasn't mean and he didn't lie to you. Most guys are 84738 times worse than him.
So maybe you should stop looking for a boyfriend, and have fun with it.
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maybe you should lay off dating, but if you think that "right" guys comes, don't try NOT to like him just because of other boys! follow your instincts! :D -mo
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Aww, dont cry okaay? Your right when you say that its better this happeend now than later. Do you know how many girls do sexual things with guys and THEN the guy dumps them? Its horrible how guys can be..and so many girls are going through that type of thing. If i were you i would take a breath. Hes just some guy you started talking to and you only went out for a day. I would brush it off..because it truly is his loss for dumping you. Another thing..DONT get into that mode where you dont want to date or trust guys. There are so0o many guys who are total idiots..but there are also a lot of really sweet ones out there too! :) (trust me, i got one of them haha) But why keep your emotions hidden inside? It will bother you so much because hes thinking that everything is fine..when really your pretty upset. Next time he calls explain that you dont want to hang out with him because you saw him as more than a friend and your pretty upset. Tell him its no biggie though because its his loss. << i like that line lol>> But hey..its summer! Get right back out there and meet new people! Trust me..you will come across the right guy..just remember to be careful of what you get into (dont get into anything sexual before being in a stable relationship) and just keep it light and pg13 while you meet new guys..and if they turn out to be losers, dont let them bring you down. Get right back in there hun and have fun meeting new people!
-melissa-
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