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bi sexual
hi im ashley and i am 13 years old
i am mature for my age. i know this isnt just a phase
ive been bi for a long time now years.
my parents dont know yet though and im not sure weather i should tell them or not.
my brother is homophbic
my mom thinks its kinda wrong or gross but isnt like homophobic or ayhting
i dont know about my dad
i mean i think least im only 13 they wont take me seriously!
i have alot of gay/bi/lesiben freinds and all my freinds a cool with it and know about it.
i dont know....i dont want to have to hide it from my parents if im dateing a girl, but alo i dont want them wierded out by it.
im scared my parents wont respect it. or think of me the same way.
part of me wants to wait cause i think if im older they will take me seriously.
but part of me also says "its not a big deal theres nothing rong with being bi so just come out to them about it"
im not sure if im too comftrable about telling them.
but there my family and they should love me no matter what right??!!
please help!
--ashley (grayrainbow) 13/f
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Hi honey,
Thanks for leaving me a question. I do understand how you feel, but you are just 13. If your parents have a problem with your being bi, it will mostly be because you have made this decision at such a young age. Though I do believe you and agree that childen that age and even younger can have a idea of what their sexual preferances are. My advice is to wait. I mean if you told them that you were experiementing sexually with a boy, that would upset them also, and it is because you are just 13.
If you wait until you are say 16, they still may not like it, but you will be that much more mature in their eyes, and you will have that much more freedom and you'll be more self-reliant. And you'll be able to stand up for yourself. Right now just being 13, what if they go overboard and forbid you to even leave the house for the next 3 years? I guess anything could happen.
I do agree that they should love you no matter what. I have often thought about how I would feel if one of my sons turned out to be gay. And I decided that I would love them no matter what.
I just think you will be coming from a position of strength and maturity and more experience, if you wait a few years to tell them.
They may also think that at this age, it will be easy to change your mind, and they will try to brain wash you. That will not be pleasant for anyone because it doesn't work.
So my advice is to wait a few years. And talk to some friends who are older, to have told their family and find out what it was like for them. This could help you in preparing for whatever may happen. I wish you well.
Michele
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