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thank you
thanks for your kind words
a recap:
question:
why do people with a loving family do bad things?
your answer:
Michele answered Friday June 8 2007, 7:04 pm:
By this question, you are asking, I take it you mean that this person, perhaps a young person, did some bad things, even though you think he/she has a loving family. Well, my thought on that would be......
Perhaps the family is fooling you. or him/her.
My experience has been that when kids do really stupid or bad things, most often their families, are not as great as they appear to be to the outside world. Oh yeah, so maybe no other member of the family, robbed a bank, or drinks and drives, or takes drugs, BUT, have they ever had anything nice to say to the family member who gets in trouble on the time? Have they always been supportive? Have they been good parents, or selfish parents? Some kids hate themselves inside, because their parents always made them feel that they weren't good enough. These kinds of kids do get in trouble. They are just fulfilling their parent's prophecy. That they are not good enough, why be good, when no one expects you to be? If any of this sounds familliar, I am not surprised, as I see it every day in my son's teenage friends. I raised my kids differently, with kindness and patience and I rarely screamed or yelled. (just the opposite of how I was raised) They are great boys, they are musicans, one's in collge, they treat their girlfriends like gold, and they don't drink or do drugs. I trust them completely. They stay out of trouble because they want to. If you have more questions on this suject, you can leave me a private question if you like.
Michele
i just wanted to thank you for understanding my situation. it was a general question but after reading your answer i found that it relates to my life. like, if parents dont physically abuse their children it doesnt mean they dont verbally, mentally, or emotionally abuse them. im not exactly abused, i think. just kind of sad and hopeless. sometimes theyre nice and sometimes theyre not. it would be easier to fit them into a category if they did hit me then i could get help. but since they dont and it doesnt seem that they are doing anything all that horrible then i dont have any choices really. well.. i hope i raise my kids like how you did one day. your kids sound so sweet. :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Yes, I do understand, because it reminded me so much of what I went through. My parents never hit me, but they didn't much care about what happened to me either. And they didn't encourage me to excel or helped me to believe that I could succeed at anything. I struggled for many years. It took many more to realize that I was a smart person and capable of accomplishing a lot. Then I took a look around at the adults whose parents supported them, encouraged them, told them over and over that nothing could hold them back. If they wanted something bad enough, to succeed, they only need to work hard, stay out of trouble, and reach their goals. For a long time I was mad when I realized how different my life would have been if I had parents who saw my qualities and talents and encouraged me. That is a parents job, you know, To raise healthy, responsible, self-reliant kids, who lead successful lives. Not just feed cloth and shelter them.
But eventually I got over the anger, it didn't help, and perhaps my parents were raised the same way. So I broke the cycle by raising my boys differently. I encouraged their interest in music, my oldest son wanted to be a radio DJ. We visited radio stations, I took every opportunity to promote his dreams. While in High School he attended the CT. School of Broadcasting, and when he went to college, he chose a college that had a campus radio station, and he now manages the radio station on campus, and the college pays him. This summer he is interning at a local radio station, not on air, but behind the scenes, that is part of his training. He will reach his goals and I am very proud of him. But even if he doesn't end up in radio, it will be his decision. I just gave him the basics and encouraged his dreams.
I know you can do this too. It won't be easy, but keep at it, and along the way you will meet people who will encourage you, mentor you.
Thanks for letting me know that I helped and don't hesitate to write again. Ask me anything, even about college and financial aid from the goverment and scholarships, I can let you know where to go to apply for all that stuff.
Next time you write, you could let me know your first name to.
Michele
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