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"too young"
i'm one week away from being 16 and i have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and 2 months. we are both virgins, and wish to keep it that way. my parents have been fine with us dating, they have set rules, like: he can't be over when they're not home, and typical guidelines like that - as most parents do. but i don't drink, i don't smoke, i get good grades and my boyfriend and i don't have sex. i'd say i'm on the right track. however, my parents think that we're getting "too serious" and that i'm "too young" to be in a relationship lasting this long. they think i am wasting my time. i totally see their point of view, they're parents .. they're supposed to worry about that. but it's gotten to the point where they're almost telling me NOT to see him anymore. they are STRONGLY encouraging me to "play the field" and "date around" i know that i won't marry my boyfriend, but why would i break up with him if i love him. this isn't junior high love either. i promise you with everything in me that i love him with a maturity far beyond my years. i plan to ride this relationship out for as long as the Good Lord allows it, and i'm extremely upset that my parents aren't behind me. so my question is, what do i do? i'm torn between wanting to have my parents approval, and wanting to make my own decisions and live with whatever consequences may come as a result. please, ANY advice would be greatly appreciated.
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it sounds like they just dont want you to have sex. honestly, if someone from my school was 16 and had been going out with a guy for 2 years i would just assume that theyve already had sex. idk what your parents think. they are probably trying to protect you so you dont get hurt. or they know you havent done anything like that with him yet and they dont want you to do it and then be upset when your relationship ends. they probably think if your relationship gets too serious you will be more hurt when it ends. but honestly, two years is a long time and really i dont see that much of a difference between breaking up after 2 years or breaking up after 3 years. maybe you should talk to them and ask them exactly why they think your relationship is getting too serious. are you like talking to him and hanging out with him too much? are you still hanging out with your friends? you can be in love with him and in a relationship with him but just dont let your relationship control your whole life.
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You make your own decisions. I understand that you want your parents' approval, believe me, but they need to know when to back off! You seem very mature for your age, and you're going to be an adult in a couple of years. You are old enough to make your own choice about this! Sit down with your parents and have a reasonable, mature discussion and explain your point of you. If your family is like mine, where my parents usually dominate the conversation and don't let me get a word in edgewise, maybe you should have a set system of taking turns. This sounds cheesy, but it works: have one particular item that, when one person is holding it, it means that it's their turn to talk. Nobody else is allowed to interrupt them, and they HAVE to listen. Anyway, I'm completely on your side in this. So many teenagers have "relationships" that only last a few days, and they have a new partner each week. It's normal to date different people, but I think that way of doing things is a little extreme. That you can stay committed to one person says a lot about your character! When/if you do get married, you'll be able to actually stay in that marriage, unlike most people these days. Yay for you, and good luck.
-Lia
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tell your parents exactly that....explain it to them in the nicest way and say that you really want to go forward with this no matter what
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