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in some deep stuff
hey. ok so i'm 14/f. and i've put some questions on here before about this, but i'll begin from the start so it all fits together. so a while ago i started going to this church that 2 of my friends go to. well, there was this guy there and from the start he was really nice to me. but he was also kinda weird, so i wasn't sure if i liked him or not. then another day when i went to church, we talked and i decided that i really did like him. so when i told my friends..we'll call them.. Trina and Kim. so when i told them, they like flipped out and was like "omg!! i can't belive that you like him!" "he has done so much bad stuff!" and "he used to do drugs and he's already had sex!" and stuff like that. but something about me didn't seem to care. so then one day Trina told him that i liked him, and he said he liked me to. then he asked for my number. oh yeah, by the way, i'm shorting this a little bit. anyways, that night he called me, and we talked, and then he asked me out. i didn't say yes right away though because i wasn't sure. so i told Trina and Kim and they said i should say yes. so i said yes. and then the next day i find out that Trina and Kim never wanted me to go out with him, and that it was a "life lesson" and it was supposed to teach me to not go out with bad guys like him. i thought that that was a load of crap. but for a while i thought they were right. so i decided to break up w/ him. and when i tried, i ended up telling him the whole story about the life lesson. in the end, i didn't break up with him, but i told my friends i did so they would stop giving me crap bout it. so one day, my parents had to go to work, and so i snuck him over to my house, just so we could talk. i ended up having my first kiss. and he video taped it on his camera, i didn't want him to, but in the end i just let him. so then a couple days later, i just didn't feel the same w/ him, and i felt like we were moving to fast pace. so i decided to break up w/ him. he was sooooo pissed. he was telling me that he was going to tell everyone everything and stuff. i was really scared. but a couple of hours later he cooled off and said that he would never want to black mail me. and then he said "this is your last chance, do you want to try again?" and i said yes.. but not for a good reason. i said yes so he wouldn't tell people everything. so the next day he called me, and it just wasn't the same, and he relized it. so that night he was like "things just haven't been the same since you broke up with me, so maybe we should just break up, but still be friends" and i was like "ok, i'm really sorry, and i was never trying to hurt you". and he was like "ok" so then we hung up. and today i just got back from Iowa, and yesterday i went on a walk with my 10 yr. old cousin and while we were walking he called me. the fone kept cutting out,and i was trying to spend time w/ my cousin cause i like never get to see her. and he kept saying "why r u being such a b****?" and stuff like that and i was like "i'm not! just call me back later, k?" and he was like "whatever bye" and we hung up. he sounded kinda mad. and he hasn't called me since. i'm just really scared that i'm going to make him mad and he is going to tell my friends everything. if they find out, the rest of my life will be ruined. i'm starting high school this year, and if people find out i will have the wost years of my life. everytime i think about it i get a really weird feeling in my stomach and i feel like crying. i can't have people finding out. i feel really bad about lying to everyone, including my parents, and i wish that i wouldn't of done any of it. what the heck do i do?? i feel like my life has just changed so much ever since this. this is like all i can think about, and i feel like my attitude has changed, and i've become more depressed. i'm not one who usually cares what other people think of me, but this is just getting out of hand. i really really really do not want people to find out!!!!! what should i do?? there is no one i can ask, so this was kinda like a last resort. please, please help me!!! thank you.
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Hey
Honestly i'mma keep this short and sweet. The boy sounds a little out of it. And if you want to be safe and also not be black mailed you might want to think over breaking the news to your ppl yourself because if they find out from you it'll be less than if they find out from him especially since he can twist and tweak the story ( i know i'm still going through something similar to this so i know the bad side of not telling myself). So those are my thoughts and opinions. I hope you feel better and everything turns out well and that i helped you to some degree at least!!! GREAT LUCK =)
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Ok first of all it's going to be ok, I can promise you that. Now this guy doesn't sound like someone you want to mess with, the worst thing you can do is go back out with him or do anything else with him. If he calls you, you don't have to answer, but you can. Say something like this "Listen I was with my cousin the other day so I couldn't talk." This is important: DON'T SAY SORRY. About anything this is important because if he feels like he is control then he can do whatever he wants and he might take advantage of you. But if you can gain control and be calm then he will back down. Don't act like your afraid! And if he ends up telling people, just deny everything or don't say anything. If someone comes up to you and says "did you have sex with him" you could say "I don't no what your talking about" or this is a good just laugh and ignore it. Because people will be like she laughed then it's deffiantly not true. But once you feel in control then ignore him. I mean it don't answer his phone calls, almost make him afraid of you. I wish you the best of luck! And I hope I helped you! Good luck! If you need anyone to talk to I'm here, honestly I know this sounds werid but you can call me or whatever you need anytime! Just leave me a message and I can give you my number! I know the feeling to not have anyone to really talk to haha! Good lucK! :)
M
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Ok, first of all, If he's going to be an ass and treat you like this he does NOT deserve you. You are so much better then him if he's going to try to stoop that low. That's pretty pathetic of him.
And as for him threatening to tell everyone what happened and stuff that didn't happen or whatever, if he tries to say you guys did anything more then kiss, just blatently deny it, because that's just it, you did nothing more then kiss him so...he's the liar why should you look stupid because of it? And if ppl see the tape of you guys kissing, well, you can be like "yeah, we kissed, but nothing else, because he's being a jerk anyway so I wouldn't even do anything more than kiss him"
I really hope this helps! Good luck! If you need any more advice on this feel free to ask another question! :^)
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