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bummed out.. help?
im really like sad i guess.. to the point of crying. and its just so messed up. im 15/f - first of all, it just feels like everyone aruond me is getting a boyfriend or has one, and if they dont have one, they're talking to a guy they might like and that lieks them. no one likes me. idont know why. it just really bums me out, because i know i would be so happy if i had a boyfriend or a guy i liked and don't tell me"oh it will all come in time" or "they should like you for you" or wahtever. just please help me.. how can i talk to guys more, so i can like get a boyfriend or start liking someone or get someone to like me. how can i get more confidence and be more "flirty" and just show that i'm out there and looking or whatever?
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okay, Oh my god! I had the same problem and no I dont have a boyfriend. What I did to get over this is I just started living. I mean okay here's my problem it's just that my cousins are like a year older than me and they both have boyfriends that love them. And all my friends have boyfriends so I was like freaking out thinking that I'm strange or ugly or fat because I felt like no guy wanted me but you know what I did ? I just said whatever I'm gonna live life until he comes to me because it's senseless to try to be like every other girl or worry about why you dont have a boyfriend. that's the only way you're going to find a boyfriend and its to wait. Most girls go through this and they find a boyfriend when they're like 16 or 17. But that varies. I just keep telling myself i'm gonna find one and I'm sure you're a great girl but I hate to tell you this but it will happen when it happens and you'll look back on the days when you worried about everything and you'll laugh! And to be honest with you most girls get in those serious realationships and they get hurt and its not all its cut out to be because my cousins are still unhappy with their boyfriends and I'm happy because I don't have to deal with a guy at all so my life right now is easy cheesy. You also are probably not ready for one if you worry so much about having one.
I'm srry my answer was so long and if this doesnt help I'm srry!
~ Munchie!
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Well here are somethings I learned most girls that get a lot of attention by boys aren't always so happy and most girls that do talk to a lot of boys are always having problems with them. Sometimes people don't realize they don't need a man to make them or make them happy. Believe you shouldn't be dying for a boyfriend or somebody to talk to because boys can come with stress, diseases and even pregrency. Another thing don't ever put yourself out there like you are dying for somebody because if a boy notice this he will do anything to you and even treat you any kind of way. Well you just can't confidence over night but look in the mirror and say i'm beautiful and i don't need no mn to tell me because I already know it. Well being flirty to me is also saying yeah i will do it and that mean flirting can also be a sign of a freak.
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Well, before you can be happy with someone else, you have to be happy with yourself. I'm not saying you HAVE to be happy about being single, but you have to believe in yourself, which I guess brings us to confidence. What parts of yourself are you not confident in? Try to improve those. If it's looks, try working out. It makes me feel more confident in myself. If it's like social skills, just try talking to people. Anywhere. At school if you're standing by someone who has nothing better to do, just say "Hey how are you?" Get to the point where you're comfortable talking to different people, and then if you like a guy, just approach him. Say hi. Start a conversation. Compare interests. Ask him what kind of music he likes, if he has any siblings, even if you already know the answers. It starts conversation. As for flirting. Be touchy. Not like slutty touchy, but like, touch his arm when you're talking, push him playfully when you're joking around. Smile a lot.
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Damn... I was so there in high school. My big regret (thus my answer for you!) is not hanging out with guys more. I always hung out with guys from other schools, which was cool and gave me some leads, but I never put myself out there with guys at my school.
Sounds like your situation is really good though, since your friends have guys they hang out with you've got a great starting point. Talk to your girls about getting a group together to go out or hang out at someone's house. Invite their guys and their friends.
How to flirt?
- Joke around with them
- Show similar interests (safe bets are sports, colleges, music, movies)
- Let yourself debate a little too. It shows confidence to stick to your guns.
- Be a little quirky (gives them something to remember you by)
- Get a part time job where people your age work (restaurants! Most will let you be a hostess when you're 15 to 17)
- Be confident above all else. This will help you stand out since most girls your age are dealing with similar insecurities or shyness
- Bring a friend who brings out your best side and your natural self, have them help you
- Don't be afraid to make physical contact... touch their arm when you're telling them something, soft punch to upper arm -- it's all about the subtle body language
Having a boyfriend can be fun, but enjoy being single and dating all different types of guys. Most girls in their mid 20's regret not being more open minded when they were younger. Go for it and work it, girl!
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Awh, seetie everyone goes through this. Girl or guy. Go up to someone you like and make small talk. I did this and now I'm great friends with a guy and there's a chance he has feelings for me - so hopefully it will work out for you, too. And hun, pay no mind to the other girls because it's just plain rude to brag about having a romantic relationship in some cases; if you see a guy you like, be direct. You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Ask what bands they like, favorite movies, discuss that and share opinions you think may be similar to theirs. Chat online, and who knows? They may become intereste in you. Talk about shows etc. you like & why. Stuff like that. Hope I helped you ;)
With Love,
Sidney
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