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Is this normal? (body image)
I'm a teenage girl who has been overweight (and, at times, obese) for her whole life. I am now only about 20 pounds overweight, and I look good because I'm an hourglass body type. But I feel like people view me as "this fat redheaded girl" instead of a normal person and it makes me very depressed and inhibited and self-conscious.
My main problem is my obsession with my body and my weight. For my whole life (even as a 3-year-old) all I have ever been able to think is "oh my god im sosososososo fat and disgusting. ew. my thighs are so gross ohmygodddd and my stomach hangs over my shorts EW!" and those are the constant thoughts going through my head. (meaning that I don't think normal thoughts like "oh what a pretty day" or "i can't wait to go shopping this weekend"
It seems like other overweight people I know are perfectly happy and don't seem to view themselves as different. I'm afraid to talk to people because i can't bare the thought of them judging me because of 20 pounds.
Everyone else in my town is anorexic and perfect and athletic (i live in a rich town). So maybe that contributes to it?
I'm also on a diet right now and I want to know if it's normal for me to only think about my diet and how many calories I'm consuming, etc. Like literally these are the only thoughts that go through my head all day: "oh my god i can't eat doritos even though everyone else is, i'm fat and disgusting and it will make me gain weight. how many calories does this have in it? i wonder if 1200 is too many. What if 1500 is too many? Ew everyone else is eating cake. I wish i could. Ew i'm so gross and fat and ew. Ew my thighs are still exploding into each other. I'm going to work out for 20200229882 hours today because i ate like one broccoli sprig too many."
and just please tell me if this is normal.
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I am extremely sorry that you feel that way because I am sure that you are a beautiful girl. Its pretty normal for people to put themselves down, but they shouldnt. And you might do it too much.
Its good to try to be healthy, but when you take it too far, thats bad. Try going on a diet but eat some sweets occasionally. Maybe buy a pack of mini candy bars and eat one a day. That way you aren't starving yourself and your not gaining weight either.
But then again, you dont have to loose weight. You just need to gain confidence. I want you to look in the mirror and pick out one thing you like about yourself everday. If eventually, you cant find something, look really hard and look at your personality and make sure you do it everyday. Hang out with people who will make you happy and will make you feel good about yourself.
I really hope you stop feeling like this because its no way to live. Again, I'm sure you are a beautiful girl on the outside and the inside and you just need to realize that yourself.
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Hi.
from what you have said, no, I don't think this is normal at all... that is to say, it's certainly not healthy to be so consumed by your weight and your appearence that is takes over your life.
Believe me from what you have said you sound fine (you'd be so surprised how many guys find that hourglass body type to be extremely sexy).
If you're overweight and you personally want to diet because you want to be more healthy then by all means do so but don't let it take over your life. Otherwise you will just be consumed by stress and stress will certainly not help you with your weight problem at all and it's certainly not good for you anyway.
As for the anorexic chicks where you live - there's nothing perfect about looking anorexic at all. I personally find the look very unsexy and unattractive which is probably why I have never seen a model who I have actually thought looked sexy.
It's hard to just suddenly change how you think about things over night so you will need to give yourself time but enjoy life. You only get to do it once and believe me when I say this, life IS short. You should be enjoying yourself not worrying 24/7 about things which you can't change by stressing over. Also, dieting is one thing but remember that just because you eat some cake or some doritos it's not going to make a huge difference. Limit yourself to a treat once a week or something. Eventually you'll find you just won't need these treats at all. Also when you're dieting make sure it's something that works well and is not based around starving yourself because that will only do more harm than good. Also, if you feel this is all getting totally out of control you may want to speak to a councillor about this so you canget more professional help with things especially since this stems deep into your past/childhood.
As for people judging you - seriously, if they need to judge you and think of you as anything less than just a person then they are not worth your time or effort. People like that are the kind of people who are just not worth knowing so to hell with them. At the end of the day no one has any right to judge you.
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