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I really don't know what category this goes in...
hi! I'm a columnist here, but now I need some advice of my own. I've always admired your advice-giving style/quality, etc. Just thought you should know that. I look up to you, really!
So, on to my question. My grandfather died unexpectedly about a month ago. I know you're thinking, he was old and we should have seen it coming. We didn't- EVERYONE (and I mean everyone) in my family lives to be at least 90, even if they're not exactly healthy. He was SO healthy, never sick a day in his life, exercised, was more active than a man half his age, was always there to listen, loved by everyone. I still can't totally believe he's gone; we lived together and everything. He was only 76... and I miss him so much. I've visited the cemetery only twice. I'm a firm believer in reincarnation of some sort, and that a person's soul never really "dies", you know? I really want to have a conversation with him, but it's hard. I start crying hysterically after I say "hi, grandpa..." Is this normal; will it ever get easier?
Ugh, that question must be so confusing. Here's what I'm trying to say, I guess. Does coping with loss get easier over time, and how will I know if I need professional help to get over this? I'm functioning normally otherwise, and I only lose my compusure every couple days now.
thanks for reading this; if you answer it'll really mean a lot to me. Sorry it's so long though.
♥
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Hey thanks, I really appreciate it. Feel free to ask me or IM me anytime.
Coping with a loss one does get easier over time. I don't feel like you need professional help with this. Dealing with the loss of somebody, especially a very close family member, is difficult for everyone.
When it comes to having a conversation, maybe you can just try to listen for awhile, maybe more than ten minutes if you have the time. If you don't feel comfortable with talking out loud yet, maybe you can say something in your mind. You can also write him a letter if you feel that is more comfortable. Don't worry about crying hysterically or losing your composure. Everyone is like that at some point, so don't feel like your the only one.
I say coping with the loss of somebody gets easier over time because of the fact that you still have to live your life. You have daily routines and obligations to attend to that would take your mind off of it. No, don't completely forget about it, but just don't let it restrain your life. I'm sure that as healthy and active and great and close as he was, he wouldn't want his own death to make your lives miserable. Do your best to move on. It is definitely a learning experience, but it shouldn't be something that makes life impossible for you either. If everyone stopped caring about their lives when somebody close to them died, then the world would run chaos.
Don't feel like it isn't OK to feel upset and cry. Let it all out. Find a family member you can talk to about it - it really does help. Yeah, it might be difficult and sad to talk about it, but you need to. Try to feel better about it. Hope that helped and if you need anything feel free to contact me.
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