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just friends? love? help please.
alright, well i dated this guy, Jack, for over a year and a half, and well i broke it off b/c we were young in highschool and i wanted a chance to see that this is what we both really wanted before we got very serious. So we both dated other people, well throughout this whole time, i always had my best friend, Nathan. This year, Nathan spilled to me that he has had feelings for me for the past two years, and well it became rocky for our friendship. But i was hesistant on even starting anything with him, but i did. We were doing very good until i started pushing him away b/c i started liking him a lot. Well Jack became single again [ he dumped his girlfriend, b/c he had feelings for me, and couldn't change that] so here i am torn between the one guy i have always loved to my best friend. --- sorry if this is hard to follow --- but then i chose Jack over Nathan, and Nathan hates me and won't even talk to me. He knew right from the start how i felt about Jack, and uh it's killing me that Nathan and I aren't even friends. I know i can't blame him, and he is seeing another girl already. but i can't tell if its out of anger, or if he was just giving me a guilt trip. should i give him his space, or try and work it out? -- oh and to top it off, Nathan and Jack hate eachother--
i need advice, help, pleaseeeee.
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Hello.
From my perspective Nathan knew what the score was between you and Jack and what may happen so he knew full well what he was getting himself into - he should have thought this out before.
I think the mistake you had made was turning a friend into something more knowing that you wouldn't want him (or anyone maybe?) to get too close to you. I think this was the only real mistake you had made. It wouldn't be as bad had it just been anyone but when changing a relationship from a friend to something more you always have to remember that sometimes when things screw up things can not always ever go back to how they were especially when one or the other get too attached.
In part I think you had made a mistake of letting the friendship with nathan reach so far as far as a relationship goes but I assume he also knew full well that you may eventually go back to jack so maybe he was hopeing he would change your mind in wanting to do that, I'm not sure. Either way I think he is acting in a stupid way (this new gf of his is more than likely just a way to try and make you jealous or a rebound) so if you do want to tey repair your friendship with him let him know he does have that option. After you let him know that it will be up to him to act on it because in this kind of thing he needs to meet you half way. When you tell him you do want to still be friends and try fix things it will be his call so from there just let him be until he decides he wants to fix things. I don't know him other than he's a guy who likes/liked you so beware of any attempts of him to try manipulate the situation to his favour and make it out like you owe him anything. :|
Also, I know I said your only mistake was to let his friendship becomes more but please don't take that to heart. With relationships and such this happens all the time (I've done it myself plenty times) so don't be too hard on yourself or anything. It happens. If friendship and relationships were as simple as 1, 2, 3 we would never need sites like this one.
Good luck with things and I hope things sort themselves out.
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