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Depression.
I think I'm going through a fit of depression.
I've been looking up symptoms & I literally say yes to every single one.
Here's my little story:
I have a best friend, our parents are friends & we've been friends literally forever. But she's a grade lower so we don't have the same friends.. so I don't hang out with her when I'm with my grade friends.
But that's not what this is about. Just that, she's my only friend, but I feel like I have none.
I talk to all the people at school but.. none hang out with me on weekends/after school. They all have their own friend circles.
All year + last year I've had three best friends [besides the other].
We hung out all the time.
Then, two started hanging out with an older girl & got into drinking & smoking.
Me & the other friend don't do that, so we just hung out with them like on one weekend day & each other on the other most of the time.
But then, they stopped hanging out with that girl.
So randomly, one day, the third friend started smoking & drinking with them.
So now I feel like they don't want to even be my friend. We haven't hung out in weeks, & they never call me.
I'm fine with losing them if they're going to get into that & ditch me for it but.. I have trouble with it because now I have no friends in my grade.
& it's embarrassing.
I already have social anxiety disorder, which is why I suspect depression.
I don't know what to do. Lately I feel so worthless.. I never hang out with friends [besides my one] & it seems like they don't even care, or notice.
I once called one about another's birthday, & I said can I give you the gift at school since you guys don't hang out with me anymore & I see you at lunch.
& she didn't even acknowledge me saying that, she just said yeah sure I think we're having a small party.
So I was like.. okay.. well if you want me to then maybe I can come.
It's just made me so depressed. I feel worthless. I feel like a burden to them, & they don't notice. I'm increasingly angry all the time. I have no energy. I'm always sore for no reason.
What should I do... about the friends/depression thing any advice at all?
sorry for the novel.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I was in a situation very similer to yours.
Maybe you should talk to them about how they're making you feel, and hope they'll understand. If they don't then there are plenty of people in the world, and you can find new friends that will treat you right.
And I DO agree with the person who answered this before me, you need to find ways to improve your self-esteem. Do things that you like, are good at, or that just make you feel good! You aren't worthless, no one is. You just need to find things that make you feel better, because everyone has worth.
If you are depressed to a point that you can't take it anymore, maybe ask your parents to take you to a doctor or phsycologist, that way you could get the help that you really need. Also, group therapy with your friends wouldn't be a bad idea. If you have some kind of peer mediation thing at your school, you could try that.
If you need to talk or anything you can send me a question or talk to me on AIM my screen name is ccc dubyah.
hope you feel better
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hun......... i notice four things you sed that struck me!!
"sorry for the novel"
"IF YOU WANT to then maybe i can come"
"i feel worthless"
"can i give you the gift at school since you guys don't HANG OUT WITH ME ANYMORE AND I SEE YOU AT LUNCH"
honey...... your self esteem is almost invisible! i use to be exactly like that when i was a child.... you don't see it now but you are playing damsel in distress.... first of all you shouldn't throw yourself like that to them or to anyone else... you are worth a million people bowing at your feet! you seem like a smart girl with a good head over her shoulders (right on ya for avoiding the booze and the beer and the cigs!)
second... my grandfather always said he who fears the ghost will always be seeing it...... meaning if you think of something hard enough eventually you'll believe and see it..... YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS unless you want to be.
never go the extra mile..... i use to and still do it at times but i force myself to stop now... y get the girl the present?! they should be the ones that are asking you forgiveness since they ditched you..... honey why did you get her the present? consider their friendship a gift... and its your birthday and the older person who drinks' birthday..... they gave her the gift of their friendship and didn't give it to you.... you're super sweet to get them a gift but honestly you should have been more rude.... sweetness doesn't work with people not of your likes... trust me i should know.... after awhile they will begin taking advantage so watch it.......
stop explaining yourself....... "sorry for the novel" why?!? this is what this site is for.... if you do it with simple things like this i can only imagine other things.... why are you embarrassed about your younger friend.... who cares what people say?1 it's hard i know but i swear to you that confidence is key if people sense the lack of it they will taunt you about her and your friendship... if you stand up with your head held up high eventually no one will care... what do you think happens in college anyway.... age becomes a stupid pair of numbers.... a sign of maturity when you get over it! with you it's just happening earlier :)))))
good luck!
and i know you have it in you to toughen up
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as for the depression if you feel it is very serious i would suggest you visit your family doctor and discuss this with her or him they may refer you to a specialist if need be... otherwise occupy yourself with things like activities afterschool clubs etc.... its a great way to take your mind of things and to meet new people!
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