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bringing myself to do it
f/16
me and my bf have had sex more then once already! but i can't bring myself to giving him a blow job! even though i really want too! someone please help me boost my confidence! what are some pointers? how do i know when it's the right time to do it? please GIVE ME ANY ADVICE YOU CAN! thanks soooo much!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you don't want to do it or just can't for personal reasons, then don't. Nobody is forcing you to give him head. If he cannot accept your decision then he's dumber than life & you shouldn't be with him.
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If you feel you cannot bring yourself to do it just yet don't--at least for now. What you should do is talk to your boyfriend about doing it in the not so distance future, your fears and hang-ups about it and ask him about what he expects and wants.
Let him know you've never done it before and what scares you and or even grosses you out about it. Once you start talking about it and building your comfort level up it will be a lot easier to attempt for the first time.
Just make sure he communicates things to you before, during, after. He has a penis and you as a female do not so he's the expert on what to do and what he likes. If you talk to him and he guides you slowly and is patient with you your confidence will increase so that you know what you're doing for subsequent times.
I really cannot tell you when the right time to do this is. It's something you just know inside yourself that you're ready and comfortable about doing. Trust me, you'll know.
For now though my best advice is to talk to him about adding this to the list of things you want to do together but need to talk about extensively so you're totally comfortable.
Also know this, you wear the pants in the relationship whereas he doesn't. If you don't want to do this than don't. It's not something you owe to him as a girlfriend or have to do if you don't want to.
The reason you say you really want to do it and then say you aren't confident or sure is because it's something you want to do and try out but you're just not there yet with your comfort zone. Talk to him and build up your confidence that way and then attempt it when you both feel good about doing it.
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If you EVER have any doubts- it means you probably shouldn't do it. If and when you're ready- you'll know it for sure and you won't have doubts or worries like you have now.
And- don't let anyone tell you that you NEED to give him one- because its ultimately your choice when you do it.
--Jack
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