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things need to change.
15/f & boyfriend is 17/m. - sorry this is pretty long.
well i'm extremly confussed. my boyfriend matthew and i have been dating for almost 11 months. the beginning was AMAZING, seriously, great. now things are just falling appart. i [guess] you could say i have a temper, but hey, who doesn't? just sometimes small things annoy me. they do for him too. he's extremly demanding and a VERY jealous person. i am too, but oh well. for those reasons neither of us talk to the opposite sex. whatever. i'm fine with that. it's just that during the summer i'm gonna be so bored. i don't really talk to girls anymore, i don't care about that either because they ALL screwed me over. he recently just started wokring at a landscaping place & works REALLY long hours. it drives me crazy. 7:30-7:30 pm. [usually.] and whatever i guess i'll have to get over it. but those fights we get it [when we do,] are terrible. so much name calling, and so many things we don't mean are said. it's times like those that make me think. i mean i KNOW i love him, but sometimes i just wonder why i put up with it. i really wanna stay with him and everything, just things need to change. for instance he gets mad at me when i cry because of family reasons, doesn't really help me. i'm not trying to sound controlling and self centered i just i guess i expected him to be there for me. oh well. we see eachother EVERYDAY. we used to from 3-8 ; now it's like 7:30-8:30, and weekends constantly. i don't know but he's coming over today and i need advice on what to talk to him about. how do i explain that things aren't the same and things need to change.
sorry if this question didn't make a whole lot of sence. i just am extremly confussed and don't have anyone else to talk about this too.
thanks in advance. :]
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My fiance works from 7:30am to almost 10pm. I know and understand how you feel about dropping your friends. My fiance and I are both VERY jealous,...But you have to look at it this way. He is working hard and is probably stressed out. The fights can really suck because he will take stress from work out on you. You need to sit him down and tell him how you feel.But you cant be self centered about it. I know you are lonely, BUT its not like he wants to be out there everyday doing hard work. He does it because he has to. With men its easy. When you get in an argument give him space, let him cool off. When he comes over if he has been working all day, let him relax have him come to you when he is ready. Its not that he doesnt care. He is just tired. Make sure he knows you are understanding, but politely explain to him that his stress is hurting you too.
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OK first of all you def. arent self centered you have every rite to feel akward and upset my ex and i had the same problem when he was working double shifts over the summer. It really does get complicated and really the only hard part about explaining how you feel is the first 30 seconds. Because you dont know exatcly how to start but the most important thing is to be honest and calm. Just say how you feel in a real calm voice and let him know if he loves you he will understand and listen with no argument.
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This is pretty much what I went through with my ex boyfriend. It's almost as if I could have written it myself. He just may not be the type you can go to. My ex never understood either, he would always say that he was there from me but didn't really know how to comfort me. The truth is most boys really don't know what to say, becuase when guys are upset they just deal with it and girls tend to dwell on things.
Of course things aren't going to be the same. It's been almost a year, people change, you are two compeletly different people than you were when you met. And thats okay. You just need to change your relationship to life's demands at this momment.
I promise you that if you nag him about how you don't get to spend time together you will lose him. most guys cannot handle that sort of pressure. Just work around your schedules and make time to see eachother. If there is a week where you can't see eachother, just deal with it, but don't complain about it. It will only make him feel gulity and stressed.
Good luck and feel free to drop one in my inbox if you need more help <3
Kate
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