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long distance Dilemma
22/f
OK I met this great guy recently. We are kinda together but not really official. All we have is kissed a bunch. Problem is we live far apart. like 2 hours. We met at a club that is an hour away for each of us so that is the only time we really get to see each other because of work or he is in college. I have once surprised him by driving 2 hours to see him in a show he was performing in. He was really happy to see me and talked for hours. We just really click. or so I thought. well I got to see him last Saturday at the club and we were having lots of fun and everything. as it was time to go he was walking me to the car and I said, "One of these days you are going to have to come up to (my town) one time." hoping for anything like a "soon I will come up" or a maybe, even if it wasn’t true. But all I got was " no I don’t think so, it is so far away, and gas is too expensive." It kinda hurt my feelings. Like this was the only time we would see each other. I am feeling like i should not pursue this too much if I am the only one that wants to make a sacrifice for us to be together. am I wrong? Or do you think with what I said kinda scared him off, which shouldn’t be hard because we already live so far away from each other. I know I should talk to him about it but i am not sure how to bring it up in a way that wouldn’t cause to much heat and drama. Can you please help me with this predicament. I don’t want to end it but I don’t want to feel like I have to be the only one to make it work. In my experience it does not work like that. What should I do??
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I agree, it doesn't work that way. I've always seen relationships to be a two way road - both sides give and take. That's how it work and is generally the only way it does work so if he's not willing to do that much to meet you half way (excuse the pun) then it may just not be worth persuing or at the least, not putting all your hopes on this one guy.
Talking to him might help a little as well but I don't know, he may have a lotof reasons why he will not wantto get too involved (distance being one and then work and such). I don't think hours is all that bad when one of my ex's used to live a good 4 hours awayor so and used to cost me bomb each time I went to see her (which would always be for a weekend at least because otherwise the money I spent on going all the way there would be pointless since I'd only be there an hour or so). I suppose one way to bring it up might be to ask him where this thing with you both might be heading, if anywhere, and just go from there. I'd say you have a right to be able to ask before it gets too far and all for nothing.
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