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Jealous with envy
I am a high school sophomore and ever since this year began i have had this low-key competition with my best friend. last year in the end-of-the-year awards ceremony i found out that i got the second highest GPA. this made a lot of ppl angry (because only me and another girl got it, while everyone else had no idea about ranking/GPA- we're tallking FRESHMEN in high school!!!)
anyways, my friend changed A LOT this year. She became so fake. Playing sports, getting excellent grades, while she chastises me for "being a nerd" and "complaining about a good grade" when she does the same, and even worse. She is a suck-up with all the teachers. She pretends to be so "not smart" and not caring about school when she knows she wants to be valedictorian.
I dont know,
I guess I am really jealous of her sometimes. Because she seems to have everything all together- good grades, personality, and good looks. While i only have grades that i m good at.
I feel so attached to her- its like everything she does i wanna do to. Like today she switched her schedule to AP Biology and AP Chem, i wanted to do the same.
It's like competitiion ruined our friendship
what should i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
In some respect I find myself in constant competition with friends...whether it's in school, on the field/court, or even when it comes to relationships. She obviously raises the bar one notch, and helps inspire you to ... "be better". From this angle, the "competition" is positive. However, it seems obvious to me that she is just as jealous of you as you are of her based on the way she chastises you for "being a nerd." Degrading comments like this, especially when directed towards friends, usually stem from envy. When you are aware that she's jealous of you, do you feel as jealous? Although in your mind she is "better" - you have some redeeming qualities that she apparently doesn't believe she has. The solution is - talk to her. Best friends have very little space between them. Tell her how you feel, and ask her why she hypocritically chastises you for "being a nerd". You may be surprised to find she feels the exact same way you do. Friends should encourage each other, not envy each other. You may have some similar interests in which you can enjoy the competition for success, but you probably have many different interests in which you'll both excel in at your own speeds. Set a bar for yourself and make it happen. Communicatin is the key to any successful relationship. Try it!
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