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he said i love you..i said idk
alright so theres this guy and we are sort of friends with benifits i guess you could say we've made out a few times, and we kiss and hold hands alot, but he hasent asked me out yet, so today in english that he loved me and i just kind of smiled and strangly it made me really sad because i promised myself i wouldnt say i love you to him unless i was forsure i really did, because then i thought it would mean alot more to both of us..so it sort of pissed me off that he was probally lying, so then he was like do you love me back?? and i was like uhm idk, i really like you but im not sure if im ready to say "love" yet and then the rest of the day i was really sad for some reason like i felt like balling my eyes out, im really confused here as you can tell?? do you guys think he means it? and why did it make me so depressed?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey!
Well forst of all, in most cases guys either a) think you want them to say it so they say it just in case or b) really mean it. They dont like saying it unless they mean it because it proves possibility for rejection. Who lieks rejection? Which is what ended up happening right?
But a and b are pretty different eh? so how do you find out. Oh you could be a spy and follow him around... but wait that wont solve anything- so how do you really figure it out? you ask.
Love is a crazy thing. there are lots of ways it can make you feel. It can be happy, sad, confused. But the sad thing, is that love is attributed with commitment, when love is love. It's not marrige or even anything serious. It's just love. So you need to think about it and see how you feel. Are you in love with him? If you are then say it. And remember love doesnt have to be that head over heels love it can just be strong feelings. But if it doesnt feel right dont say it.
One of the reasons you may feel sad is because you dont want this relationship to end. You're enjoying how things are (I may be totally off) so in order to keep the things the way you like them you didnt say love, so what you have to decide is what you want to happen, and if you dont know, then let things take their course, but if you do know, outline them to him and tell him the way you feel, yeah thing will probably drift and take their own paths, but its better to be on the same page.
I hope that answers your question, if it didnt, give me some more info and I can try and help you out some more. Love ya
Angie91
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The problem with the words 'I love you' is that they no longer have the meaning they once did. When people would only ever say them when they really meant it. Now anyone can say them and not even know their meaning let alone mean it.
The trouble with being friends as well as having benefits, it can cause problems just like these - one person can get emotionally involved when the purpose of friends with benefits is that you stay friends but nothing more (apparently). I don't think you should have to say it or feel pressured into saying it unless you do feel/mean it. As for him, I can't say if he does mean it or not because you know him better than I. There may not even be a way to know for sure unless you can get him to take the polygraph test. :/
I'm not sure why it made you feel depressed. It might be that things have suddenly took a turn that you didn't expect and what he said to you was not what you had expected to happen (at least not yet anyway). Or because he feels that way and you don't or you are not sure if you do? To be honest I can't say because everyone is different and it's hard for me to be able to 'read' you just from this. Thing is though try not to let it bring you down and depressed. You told him the truth that you don't know - most people would have just lied. He should appreciate that you were honest with him. There's no rush or time limit so take your own time to decide how you do feel about him and see how things go fromhere on with him. That way you can see if what he said was something he meant or not. Whether he meant it or not though you will also need to discover how you feel about him and if you feel the same or not.
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