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humorist-workshop
non-christian guy (sorry its quite long)
ok, so i am 16 and a christian and i am born again. i try to follow jesus in all i do. the thing is, i have met this guy and we have become very close. we know that we both want more than friendship but that with my belief that i should only see christian guys in a romantic way ("do not be unequally yoked") we also know that things really shouldn't go further.
we have been spending a lot of time together lately and even holding hands, he puts his arm around me etc. he tried to kiss me the other day but i said no and i know he won't again, however much we both want it.
so he knows i won't go any further with this and he knows how important my faith is to me. he is an agnostic at the moment, and he says that he is going to learn about my faith more and see whether he finds truth in it if you see what i mean. i have made him understand how important it is that he makes his decision separate from me, that he becomes a christian for his own beliefs, not his wishes as far as i am concerned.
my best friend has told me that she thinks i am being stupid because she knows how much we like each other (more than i could ever imagine was possible) and thinks that i will keep going with this, even though i know nothing more will happen, especially if he doesn't become a christian. she really upset me the way she talked to me, and i don't want to upset her.
my pastor has told me he thinks that i need to slow things down because the guy's sister told him we are 'seeing other' which neither of us has said and we aren't really sure what the situation is. after talking to some other christian friends this morning i realised that whatever decision i make someone loses. so hadn't it better be me too.
i guess i'm just looking for your thoughts on this, and how strongly you believe what you do, because i need to get some objective ideas into the mix, to help me know what to do. thanks already, xxx
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Oh, little sister, bless you for your desire to do what is right in the eyes of God. First of all, yes, you are correct. You should not be unequally yolked. I think it is cool he wants to learn about your faith. But again you are right, he needs to make the decision separate from you. I would bet your actions of clinging to your faith is speaking volumes to him. Stand your ground and pray for him.
However, I would like to address the "being together" part. It sounds like you spend a fair amount of time together and, evidently your feelings for each other are showing on the outside even if actions other than holding hands is all that is happening.
Believe it or not, I can relate to your situation. When I was 16, I met a boy too. I also knew better. I also believed I could withstand the pull. To make a long story short, I ended up "enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin" (Hebrews 11:25). I got pregnant my senior year of high school and the boy left when I was five months a long.
Your best friend saying that "you're being stupid" is a bit harsh. Perhaps I would say it this way... as soon as you think it could never happen to you, the evil one has got ya.
I urge you to use wisdom. Are you following the fleshly desires or the plan God has for you? Proverbs 24:14 "Wisdom is like honey for your life-- if you find it, your future is bright."(CEV)
And I urge you to trust the Lord. Are you following a road the Lord has cleared or is this road leading to destruction? Proverbs 3:5-6 "With all your heart you must trust the LORD and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow." (CEV)
As a born again believer, you have the Holy Spirit living in you and He will guide you into all truth. (John 16:13)
And remember this, whatever decision you make about the relationship with this boy, someone will most likely be unhappy about it. That unhappy person might even be you. But all that aside, what pleases the Lord is most important.
I'm around if you need me.
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