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I'm almost 20 and I've been going out with my boyfriend for over 3 months. Everything about our relationship is perfect; we were friends for a year prior to making anything official, so I consider us to be very close. The topic of sex came up recently and I found out he's waiting to "lose" his virginity whenever he decides to. I respect that and think its great to go out with someone who is not anxious to have sex. But the only reason he's waiting is because he's scared to get a girl pregnant. I have told him there are a number of things he can do to prevent that from happening (such as multiple forms of protection at once: birth control pills, condom, and using the pull out method.) But he still isn't comfortable with the idea of having sex. As I've said before, I completely respect his decisions. But I, on the other hand, am ready (and protected) to become sexually active. We have a very sexual relationship, but I get very frustrated knowing I cannot share something like this with him. I certainly would not pressure him into anything because I am not that type of person. And I would never throw away our relationship just because of his choice to wait. (I respect that more than anything.) But does anyone have any input or opinions on my situation? Thank you.
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I agree with young grandma's advice given to you.Well my advise is to have a serious talk with him about how you feel about the situation and about how you feel about him, let him feel secure to know that you understand how he feels, but remember to let him know that he's not alone in this relationship and he's worth waiting for.The best way i think to secure him is to let him know that ya both are going to take the steps together in intimacy... Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!
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I first want to say that your question is wonderful! It is so nice to know there are still some who really take the time to know each other and think things through before taking the big step. Maybe all is not lost after all. This is the kind of questions we should be seeing in this category.
Have you told him you are interested in having sex with him? Not hinted around now...I mean really told him you are ready for it? If not do. Tell him of course you respect his decision, but that you are ready when he is.
Do some research and get him some statistics. Birth control pills alone are enough. Condoms for disease protection and to help him feel more comfortable if he has real worries. I wouldn't recommend the pull-out method while using a condom. It might come off at the wrong time and cause him to panic. Needlessly if you are on the pill but no reason to cause him panic.
I am assuming you are a virgin. If not then he could be afraid he will do something wrong. If you are, he may be even more afraid. He might think he will hurt you or that it won't be a great experience for you both. Reassure him either way.
Let him know you realize the first time may not be perfect. It takes time to know a partners likes and dislikes. Once the nervousness is gone you will both do fine.
I am rambling on like Dr Ruth! I hope it works out
great for you. Sounds like you found yourself a wonderful guy! :)
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