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I'm reposting again. I'd really like some advice!
I was molested by a family member of mine when I was little. I don't remember what happened at all and I've questioned my sexuality since I was 11 or 12 years old.
I've been afraid of penis' since I started fooling around with guys at 13.
I don't know what it is but unless I'm "under the influence" I can't muster up the guts to go down on my most current boyfriend.
Now, I've done it before but every time there's a new guy involved, I freak out.
I really feel like I'm being selfish to my boyfriend. I've also talked to my sister and him about it, but it just seems like there's nothing anyone can say to make me feel better about the whole thing.
What in the world should I do?
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Being molestested when you were young has probably left you some childhood trauma and screwed up emotions that you keep bottled up inside. I'd recomend seeing a therapist to help sort this all out. Unless if you've already seen a therapist for this, chances are this tragic event will harm you even more later. A therapist will probably help you get over your fear and insecurity.
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I think you should get counseling. Though you don't remember what happened, you need someone to talk to because you're always gonna be traumatized.
And explain it to your boyfriend. Make sure you let him know it's got nothing to do with him, because he's gonna think you don't like him or whatever.
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maybe since you were mollested when u were young then youve just had a little bit of scraedness in you still. Its common to be scared after something like that happens and i would think anything about it that much. I think that it will all be fine in a few years but since you dont remeber what happened a while back ago then maybe somthing happend that you dont know of. You never know, but i would just give it time and maybe the reason that you freak out with a new guy is because you have a nervous feeling that he could be someone going to molest you. your body just may think that since it happened to you before that your scared that it will happen again and you never can be too sure about a person.
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Well babe first of all i think it's really brave for you to admit to people that you have been through this type of challenge. Secondly you... ok Only do what is comfortable for you sexually. You don't have to go down on anyone unless you are ready willing and able. There are a lot of people in the world who don't do that, or do it with only certain people. It is not a requirement. Third I suggest that you get your self emmersed in some emotional release techniques like the Sodona Method. It is really necessary for you to get all of that fear and anger and confusion out of your system so you can live your life the way you want to. Go to Barnes and Nobles or Borders or the Library and read some books in the self help section and the psychology and child psychology section. There is some really good stuff there to help you get over your sexual uncomfortability. And lastly if you feel like you want to, and if you want to spend the money, go to a psychiatrist and talk about it with them. Hope it gets better for you. Peace and Love
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