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still down, how do I get up?


Question Posted Friday March 9 2007, 2:22 pm

A little less than a year ago I was diagnosed with having anxiety and depression. The thing that bugs me, though, is that every single time you hear about this sort of thing, the only advice you are ever given is "get help, and that will make you better." But it only has to a certain extent. I mean, I guess this year I'm getting out of bed in the morning; I'm going to school when I used to stay in bed all day without being able to get up. But I still feel like such a failure. I worked so hard before I got depression. I was part of a really challenging private school (I left this year) and put every effort I had into doing well so I could get into a good university or whatever for five straight years, never had any friends over, even because we were all working so hard (and maybe that's why I became depressed :/). Lately I can't even bring myself to do any of my homework, and I space out a lot in class. It's like I just don't care. I'll stay up at night without caring about school the next day and then skip first period. Today I just stayed home the entire day. I hate myself for it and really just want to be functioning and normal and not so lost and worried and depressed. At the same time I've given up, like the whole depression thing is this black mark on me and I'm not good enough to be functional, if that even makes any sense (or if any of this makes sense)
Does anyone have any advice on how I can get through this(ei, what can I do besides "get help")? AM I even going to get "better" in the end, or is this something that's going to haunt me forever?


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Brandi_S answered Saturday March 10 2007, 9:23 am:
**EDIT** You are very welcome! I'm glad I could be of help! :)

_____________________________________________

I don't know that I can help you much more than saying "get help" isn't always the answer. I will try my best, however.

The best way to get through this is to help yourself out of it, not just seek therapy. Getting out of a depression has to start from within; not with a pill, or with a person showing you inkblots. You have to want to get out of it for YOU before any of that can really help, in my own opinion.

Giving up is not the answer; that is giving in to your depression. If you give up on trying to fight it, you can't work to change your feelings to the positive. Why let depression win? Why let it control your life?

Something to reflect the positive? Look at how hard you worked at your studies in order to better your future. Yah, you made a lot of sacrifices, but you are a far stretch from a failure, so don't try to convince yourself that you are.

You need to try to get yourself back into the frame of mind when you cared about that bright future you have been working so hard for. Otherwise, what was all the work and sacrifice for? When you find that way of thinking again, you will be motivated to improve your studies that you have been falling back in, and you will find yourself caring about school once more.

However, you have other things you need to heal before this. Your studies are very, very important, but YOU are more important. Fix you first, then fix studies.

Don't hate yourself for your slump you are in with your studies. Don't hate yourself for feeling depressed. Don't hate yourself for anything. You are a better person than that, and you don't deserve to feel self hatred for any reason.

I imagine we all have had our moments in life where we found ourselves in a dark corner as you find yourself now. I know I have. I was put on medication and the whole "getting help" bit, but I'm telling you what- none of that worked for me. In the end, I pulled myself out of it. No therapy. No pills. Just me and my will.

Try not to think of it as a black mark on you. Try to think of it as another one of life's learning experiences. Believe me, you will learn from this. You will learn important things about yourself. That is a good thing, really. I can't tell you what things you will learn about yourself, because that is for only you to know.

Yes, you will get better- but you have to want it bad enough. (I'm sure you do.) You have to find the will inside yourself to get out of your depression. That is something I really can't explain how to do. Yah, I did it, but I did it for me; you have to do it for you.

Absolutely you are good enough to be functional and normal, but you have to realize that for yourself before you can get anywhere. You can't feel hate for yourself and expect to get anywhere. You can't give up and expect to get anywhere. You can't see your depression as a black mark. Again, that won't get you anywhere.

It is going to take a little time. You will have to have patience with yourself and your feelings in order to get better. It doesn't just happen overnight; I wish I could say that it did, but that would be a blatant lie.

Most of all, you need to realize and remember that you are worth the time and patience it takes. You are by far better than your depression. Your will is strong enough to work through it and get your life back on track. You deserve to lead a happy existence, and you are worth doing what it takes to get what you deserve for yourself.

It won't haunt you forever unless you let it. Sure, you will remember it, but like I said, you will learn from it.

I hope you beat this. Best of luck to you.

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cheerbabe834 answered Friday March 9 2007, 5:58 pm:
NO it definitly wont for sure. maybe you just need to get motivated about something. since everything in your life is like blah. try watching inspirational movies like disney! Pay it forward its sad though. or even funny movies. spend time with your family it helps. dont worry about the homework for now. just get yourself back to you. then worry about the school work. try talking to your friends again just break the ice. be like do u wanna do something over the weekend. GET MORE SLEEP. it can solve basically half your problems litterally. go to bed at like 8:30 or 9:30. it will really help your mood and everything espeacially your health. youll start to love going to bed early lol.

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