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confused between the two person i love most
I was madly in love with my exboyfriend whom I've been dating for a year and 2 months and till this day I am still unsure why we broke up. However, about 3-5 days later I meet my other exboyfriend and he is now my current boyfriend and we've been going out for almost two years by the end of this month. I love them both very much and I hurt my current boyfriend alot because I always think about my exboyfriend. The thing is I cannot choose who I want to be with..these two are complete opposites...and I dont know why I love them both very much..my ex still loves me as much as he did and I love him to...my boyfriend loves me very much and I love him to...I just can't decide on whom I want to be with...they both love me and take care of me very well...my boyfriend is very career oriented while my ex is very love oriented..i love them both..but what should i do? whom should I choose? I can't explain everything in this paragraph but based on the situation that I am in love with both these guys..whom should I choose? my ex or my boyfriend?
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I am 26 and divorced. I was married for 6 years and there was not one day that went by I did not think of my highschool sweetheart. We broke up in highschool and got back together several times. When I met my ex husband I was still not over my highschool sweetheart but new we couldn't be together because he did not want what I wanted at the time...a family. I loved my ex husband very much but in the back of my mind always wondered what if? Well my ex and I got a divorce because of several things A: I was not happy and because after 5 years still had a place in my heart that was not filled. After my divorce my high school sweetheart and I got back together and finally we fullfilled our what if's. Not knowing he had felt the same way for all those years we got a long in the beginning but with me having 2 kids with my ex it was very hard for him and we went our seperate ways. The point of my story is this...follow your heart. Don't waste time on what you "think" is best for your future or you won't be happy. If you think about your exboyfriend everyday then you need to make sure you finish that part of your life before you move on to another part. Please follow what your heart and gut are telling you and remember "everything happens for a reason". You may not know why right now but one day it will hit you like a rock and you will be like oh that is why that went that way. I was able to move on and now am in Love with a wonderful man and have no doubts of my past anymore. Good luck with watever way you choose.
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No one here will be able to advise you how to choose. We don't know the guys in question, and it would be impossible for you to give us enough information to make the call. Heck, even if you could, it would all be coming from your perspective; and since you can't decide, we probably wouldn't be able to either.
There are three things to consider before making your decision:
(1) Where do you want the relationship to go from here? In other words, are you happy with a boyfriend, or are you "husband shopping"? It is often the case that a great boyfriend is not necessarily marriage material. There are issue of compatibility that have to do with your long-term plans for the future, how you plan to raise children, differences in your religious beliefs, and how well your families get along, and of course, whether he WANTS to get married.
(2) The decision is not yours alone. It's also up to them. Your ex-boyfriend might find someone new any day now, or your current might decide that he can't deal with you having feelings for someone else. Factoring into your choice should be the idea of how they feel about you, and whether you think that feeling is permanent or fleeting.
(3) Right now, you are in a committed relationship. Your current deserves a greater degree of consideration simply because he IS your current boyfriend. The playing field is not level, and you just can't do things like date both of them and study the results. Basically, you need to give your current guy every chance to "win you over" on his own merits. Don't compare everything about him to your previous guy; it's not fair to either of them, and it's a bad habit to get into if you ever want a lasting bond with anyone.
Perhaps instead of trying to figure out which one you would be happier with, it might help you decide to imagine which one you would be sadder without. In other words, pretend one of them met another woman, fell instantly in love with her, and ran off to Vegas to elope. Which one would leave you the most heartbroken? Don't base your entire decision on the answer to that, but it might help you lean one way or the other.
I will say this: for the sake of all three of you, you will need to decide soon where your heart lies. Otherwise, you may end up losing both of them.
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Choose who makes you happy, and who would be able to take care of you when the time comes.
If your boyfriend's career oriented, he's the right choice.
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