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I don't even know if anyone can help..
15/f
Well, the past week has been soccer tryouts and when we ran i was always last. (and i kinda have a low self asteem) so that didn't make me feel good. and i think the only reason i made the team was because i'm a goalie, where on the team the only goalies are me and someone else. and then right now i just want a specail guy just to talk too. i mean i don't really think i want a boyfriend i just want a guy to be there for me when i'm down and just tell me i'm beautiful. and i've been stressing with school because all my friends are super smart and i kinda feel that i need to be smart too. because right now i'm like 180 out of 430 something where as my friends are all in the ranking from 80-1. and i don't know just right now i've felt unhappy almost lost. i mean i'm happy i'm on my highschool soccer team but then most the time i'm like man i hope coach doesn't make us run too hard because i suck at running. and then with the whole boys thing i feel left out cause again most my friends have a boy to call at night. and then school..ugh. but i don't even know if anyone can help. but i just feel so lost right now and unhappy and again i just don't know. so if anyone has suggestions on what to do or anything please. i'd be thankfull for any advice.
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I used to be like you...I was in the school band, had an awesome group of friends who were outgoing and I was the shy one, afraid of doing stuff they usually did, etc. I wanted to be like them but I was just let down by my failures. And I did something REALLY stupid, but it helped me get rid of this low self esteem issue of mine: I left everything I liked and tried something totally new. In my case (I was still 16), I left high school early and went to university.
I'm not suggesting that you leave your soccer team and friends behind - I still play the guitar and hang out with my buds every weekend. But I do those stuff in an entirely new way. When you're running, don't think "They all rock at it, I'm the only one who sucks!", instead tell yourself "They all suck at it just like me", then you'll find yourself saying "They all rock at it just like me!".
If you want to see how I 'progressed' and got rid of my self esteem issue thing, try reading a few early entries of my blog. Then read the recent ones...The change is just massive! (my advice column, website link).
Remember, sweets: Failure is an event, not a person.
=)
*hug*
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It helps during times like this to be thankful for the things you have. You may not be in the top 80 of your class, but 180 is WAAY smarter than, say, 425. The important thing is to try your hardest and do the best you can. If that's the best you can do, be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Same thing with soccer. Be thankful you made the team. As for the running part, look at the positive side: the more you practice running, the better you'll get at it. Plus it's great exercise.
Something I don't understand is why you need to have a boy in your life to make you feel good about yourself. Maybe you should try making new friends that make you happy. The ones you have now just make you feel insecure and inferior. Friends should feel like equals. Not people that make you feel stupid and less confident about yourself.
If you want to be happy, work hard, stay positive, and do the things you love. The rest will fall into place. And, trust me, DON'T rely on a guy to make you feel confident about yourself. I am saying this from experience, most guys at your age are simply too immature and heartless to be someone a girl can rely on for support.
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First of all, don't worry. Because you're not alone. I have a smart group of friends, myself and all they do is brag because I'm not the smartest girl in my classes. But that's beside the point. So anyway...
I'm basically in the EXACT same situation as you! I used to have a low self-esteem and it sort of depended on guys liking me or paying extra attention to me so I didn't feel as bad. But you don't need a guy! What you need is a night out to yourself. You know what I mean? Like just fun girl stuff YOU love to do. You won't have to worry about those smart girls or guys that expect you to be smart too. Maybe go to a spa, the mall, see a movie, etc. Dedicate the whole day to yourself! Maybe get your nails done or something? If you feel bad about the whole soccer agenda maybe google a couple of tips on how to improve or run faster. I'm not good at running either, so you're not alone... Lol! So basically to lift your self-esteem all ya gotta do is look in the mirror 1500 times a day and say "Damn I'm hot" 1200 times, you know?Just kidding. You just have to think about how lucky you are to be YOU and view other peoples' points of view and respect their opinions as well as your own. If you feel lost then talk to somebody. 'Cause I don't think God is planning to send a really nice boy down from Heaven to compliment you every day, Lol.
You need to go to people, don't wait for them to come to you!
~ Hope I helped, Lauren
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