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Porn question
I love your answer to the girl who asked if it's okay to feel jealous if her boyfriend watches porn. I whole-heartedly agree with you that if it is hurting her, he should respect that.
That being said, my boyfriend said I could use his computer to edit photos of the two of us. While I was doing so, I threw one away accidently and went to the recycle bin to retrieve it. I found all kinds of porn movies that he had downloaded. It literally made me sick: especially since he and I took dirty pictures and made dirty movies that he has on his computer. Why would he want to watch other girls and not me? It makes me extremely jealous.
My question is: how do I bring this up to him? I was by no means snooping, but I think it might come of that way. I have a feeling he'll get defensive as well. I just need a place to start from. Do I tell him the story of how I found it? Do I just come out and say "You looking at porn is hurtful to me"? Since you share my opinion about this, I thought it would be best to ask you. Thank you for the advice in advance.
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Well, since you are going to tell him, I would start off with the story of how you found the porn in the first place then talk about how it is hurting you.
But you said that you found these porn movies on his computer in the recycle bin right?
So that means he was trying to get rid of them, maybe because he doesn't want to watch them anymore? I don't know, just a thought.
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First of all, it's totally justifiable for you to feel this way, and i hope for your sake that he isn't difficult about it, as many guys would be in this position.
I would definitely tell him the story of how you found it, because if not he will without a doubt think you were snooping. Tell him that it hurts you to see him looking at other girls in that way, but also be sure to understand where he's coming from. It's natural for guys to go looking for "visual aids", often outside of their real-life relationship. Listen to where he's coming from, and in the end ask him to stop looking at other women. If he respects you AND you approach the topic in an understanding way, things will go smoothly for both of you.
Good luck!
love, maddie
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