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exxxxx bf
okay i already wrote a question about this but never got an answer so please answer and HELP i wont write a novel this time....
i dated this guy we were in love and dated for month and half broke up because of 4 year age difference and we didnt talk at all for 7 months till he left me a message saying happybirthday! and the messeages went back and forth and we started talking again on the phone every night and i automatically fell in love with him all over again and we hooked up and hung out a lot and he told me he didnt want a gf cause it was too much drama and i accepted that and then i got worried and asked if he was using me and we got into a fight and decided friends was better so then we basically stopped talking and now he has a girlfriend and i want him back and still love him and am basically waiting for him to break up with her and i have dreams of him breaking up with her and telling me he loves ME EVERY NIGHT.... PLEASE HELP i have no idea what to do!!!!
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Hey!
Well, this is actually a very common situation, so don't feel like you're all alone.
K so basically what happened was you had a bf then you guys broke up, then you were friends for a bit, you got in a fight and now you dont really talk. Okay, well first of all, you have to decide on one of two different roads. The first road is the one you seem to drive down, which is getting him back, and then theres the second road, which is moving on. There are disadvantages, and advantages to both.
K, for the first one, you love this guy right? Well right now, he doesn't know that. So I bet you can guess what I'm about to tell you. You have to tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you love him, and you wish you were with him. However, before you go through with that, you have to think about this. Yeah, he probably still loves you, but depending on how long hes dated this girl, he might love her too. So first of all, he wont break up with her to be with you, without you telling him how you feel(Don't worry though, we all wish that were the case sometimes) and chances are that he wont break up with her to be with you after you tell him either. So if those chances don't sound awesome, maybe you shouldn't go for it. If you do though, also keep in mind, things may get weird between you, and if they do, I've got some solutions for that, so if you go through it and he declines your offer, I'll be here for you. :P
Okay, hers road number to moving on. Think about this for a little bit, you guys broke up right? There wasa reason, the age difference. And I'm sure there were other reasons too. So first thing you need to do, is get out a peice of paper and write down every reason you don't like him. (This can also work if you don't know which road to take, you can do the pros and cons of being with him and see which one wins) Think of every reason why going out with him would suck.
Now if you were in a state where you were in deep love and super sad because you might lose him, then I'd suggest other things, but I think that because it was only a few month thing, and you managed to go on for 7 months with out talking, then maybe you should try to pick a new guy to focus on. He doesnt have to be the guy you wish you could go out with, just pick some guy who is hot and you wouldn't mind thinking about. And everytime when you're super bored and you're like ohh I wish ____ (Your ex's name here) was my boyfriend, switch your ex's name with the new guy and day dream about him all day.
I think thats good for moving on tips, but let me know if you want some more, I've got a billion.
Remember one thing though, no matter what happens, you're young (unless you're like 70 which I'm assuming isnt the case :P) and you have lots of years ahead of you to find great guys. If it doesnt work out with your ex, thats fine, life will move on and you'll be in love with another guy in no time.
I hope I helped you out a little bit, and good luck. Love ya lots,
Angie91
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You dreams can be pleasurable or complete nightmares, but very few times are they prophetic. Our minds never shut off and you probably are consumed by wanting this guy that is unavailable in the daytime more than the night. This guy is unavailable in two serious ways. The fact that he did decide he wanted a girlfriend and the girl he chose is not you should make things painfully obvious. The fact that he has had endless opportunities to make you his girlfriend and did not is reason number two why he is not for you. I think you need to accept that he did not want you for a girlfriend and that he is choosing to have a relationship or whatever it is with someone else. Maybe he is serious about her or maybe he is just using her the way he used you. Why is it we want what we cannot have? Why do some girls fall for the bad boys they know will break their hearts? It is smart to know what you want in life, but it is stupid to seek it where you know you can't get it. Move on and get the love you crave from a guy who will want to keep you in his life for more than a physical fling. If this guy broke up with that girl today, I don't want you lowering yourself for him again. You are better deserving than that. Next time keep in mind that we don't really even begin to know someone at all until several months if not years into a relationship. Puppy love and lust and intense emotions do not equate love, and as you gain years and experience you will know exactly what I am talking about...for now trust me a little and avoid preventable future heartaches.
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look, you and i are not so different, i can totally relate....
but if you havent been talking in a long time and he has a gf i think honestly....hes probably moved on. i know this can hurt, its happened to me and it sux but i think you need to get over him. i have day (and night) dreams of this one guy telling me he likes me too. but he and i are just friends and i have to accept that. i know how you're feeling i get the same feeling everytime i talk to this guy and i wish he would like me too but he doesnt. its the worst pain i can feel but everyone tells me the best thing is to move on. Hun, if we dont move on we're only hurting ourselves. i LOVE him and i wish he felt the same, but i cant change how he feels. maybe its better that you guys arent talking rite now. try looking for other guys, life will go on and slowly the thoughts and the dreams will go away. i really hope i helped, even though i know that no matter how much someone tells you to move on it seems so impossible. i want to but i cant as hard as i try. but together we'll both get over them, k? i promise you'll find a guy for you.
ASK me a question if you need anything else.
SAM
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