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to forgive or not to forgive???
i have these friends (lets call them S and H). they were my bff, that is until i found out that something big had happened. they had gone a step further in their relationship. they did it while i was in the room and then they didnt tell me. they agreed not to tell me and then it randomly slipped out of S's mouth one day....i got really angry. not that it had happened, but that it had happened while i was there and that they decided not to tell me. also have this friend(lets call him F). he told me i should stay angry at her because he already doesnt like her bc he thinks she causes too much drama. he also thinks she has only screwed up my life since i met her and that i shouldnt forgive her or that i should stay mad until she comes crawling back to me.... she says that she cant stand not having me as a friend and that she'd be willing to give up talking to H for me but she has a tendency to lie about a lot of things...... should i forgive her or not?....
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
if something is ment to be let it be at least they tried to hied it not to hurt you but to extend your fillings f must not like s because if s wanted to cause trubble dont you think she wouldve told you on her own not by accident
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Yes, because although I really don't know what happened and how bad it was, it is not good for you to carry around anger. Staying angry at someone is not truly empowering, although when you are first angry it seems like you are in control. Anger is a response to hurt feelings. You felt left out, got hurt, then decided, yes you decided to be angry about it. You could have chosen a different response than anger. More importantly you still can. Forgiveness is not about being a doormat or forgetting. It just means that you choose to let go of the anger inside of you. Can you look at the situation from the other's viewpoint? Was it intentionally an act to purposely hurt you, or was it just something that happened and you having your feelings hurt was the way you chose to feel about what happened between two other people. Do these people owe you an explanation for everything they do, or did you just wish they had not kept it a secret. Of course, you were eventually let in on it, and it did not cause you any harm, right? Then let it go and be a better person for it. Also, Mr. F should mind his own business and not try to dictate whom you choose to be friends with or whom you want to forgive. He is not a good friend if he wants you to stay angry. Anger is not good for anyone, especially the one being consumed by it.
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