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its long but I really need help
My best friend and I have been really close. We used to tell eachother anything and everything. We always stood up for eachother and we always taught eachother new things. Basically we were best best friends. She has a boyfriend which she has been going out with for over a year now. They are really good for eachother. They used to get into fights because she always flirted with other guys (majorly one time she gave 2 guys a shoulder rub for no reason) but he'd always come back and appologize. I always tried to help her with their problems and I hated when she was upset.
But a girl in school made up a rumor about me being a total flirt. I didn't really mind because all the guys were on my side BUT then my best friend (lets call her Nikki) started going along with it. She started agreeing with the girl and tormenting me about it. Months went by and slowly people forgot. Near Christmas time we bought best friend necklaces and I have never taken mine off.
After christmas break however she started the rumor up again. When I confronted Nikki about it she started yelling at me about how I flirt with this one guy (lets call him....James) all the time. I have liked James for months and he is the only guy who has ever really been there for me in almost everything. We fought but made up. The problem is she keeps bringing up the flirting topic all the time.
About 3 weeks ago I started noticing she always seemed mad at me. Her voice was snappy and she barely told me anything. She also made it her duty to try to get James to hate me along with every other guy. I also know she has talked to other girls and gotten many to look down at me. I have asked the guys and they say all I do is talk to them and I barely ever flirt. I have also asked some girls. She alwasy gets angry when im around the guys and especially when im around her boyfriend. Her boyfriend and I are really good friends and he also used to tell me everything about their relationship. He is also one of the only people im close with in half my classes so bottom line I talk to him quite a bit.
Lately she always makes me feel bad and tells me I cant stay away from the guys. The problem there is I have about....5 girl friends and about 20 guy friends. And ALL my girl friends have been staying inside for recess and i love recess so I go out. Also they are on the basketball team and I am not so many times Im forced to be with them. I have tried my best not to do anything that looks like flirting anymore and once publically humialted myself doing so. But everything I do seems to have no effect. She then says I do stuf for attention. Its driving me crazy and lately ive been crying almost everynight because of her.
I dont want to change for her but I feel as if I have to. I would rather have her as a best friend throughout high school then a boyfriend. I care about Nikki soo much. I really dont know what to do anymore. Its really hard for me.
About 4 days ago we sat beside eachother on the bus because we were forced to. The ride was pretty much silent except for two sentences. I turned to her and asked "Do you hate me?" and she replied "A little." those words hurt me so much. Then on the busride home out of nowhere she started yelling at me and telling me how horrible I was. She ended off saying "You have no idea how many people hate you" I have barely talked to her since. Ive been crying constantly. I try so hard to get us back but she keeps pushing me away. I dont understand it! What happened? What did I do? Please help!
If you want more details on certain things tell me cause ill probally ask more questions.
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wow thats a tough situation. the first thing that popped into my mind was "is she jealous of you?" mabye at first she was only saying you flirt alot because she wanted to be like everybody else. and then mabye she relized that you do have alot of guy friends and she is jealous of that. i think the only reason she said she hates you a little bit is because everyone else seems to not like you because of the rumor and she doesnt want to be your only friend. i know it may seem mean but kids these days do anything to "be in the crowd". what i would suggest is just stop talking to her for a while. you said you have plenty of guy friends and some girl friends so its not like your a loner lol. and mabye once you stop hanging out with her she will realize how much she misses you and she may come back to you. dont cry yourself to sleep at night. keep telling yourself that SHE treats YOU bad. its not your fault because you didnt do anything. just hang out with your other friends for a while and see how things go. ask me anything anytime!
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