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x boyfriend?
..i promised myself when we broke up that i would never get back together because he cheated/ madeout with two other girls one my bestfriend and two my worst enemy when i was dating him... he hurt me... but he started talking to me its been about 7 months.. weve always said hi and hung out in groups.. but he told me he knows he really messed things up and feels terrible whenever he sees me (everyday at school) when he thinks about how bad he hurt me.. i cant help the way i feel for him.. hes been appologizing like crazy... calling me late at night.. and i miss him... we have sooo many things in common but part of us are complete opposites.. hes bad and im good... meaning after we broke up he did some bad things like drugs mostly pot and he has done alot more w/ girls than i have w/ guys... and me i have never even drank and would never try any drugs... we run track together.. track starts monday.. god im confused.. i like him alot.. he likes me alot.. i can tell when hes serious and when hes not and hes been serious... i know your thinking im a fool but i have alot of common sense.. i dont think anybody thinks i should be w/ him.. my friends tell me to go w/ my heart and ignoor everyone and i would... but its like (just so you know me) i have a ton going for me.. im basically validictorian out of the 2nd biggest highschool in missouri and i can run track for almost any college in the country i want to and im only a jr..... which is also weird because hes a sophmore... we are really close... i believe him when he says that he would stop (he has to stop smoking becasue of track) and he would never even think about it if he were with me becasue he knows he would loose me again. its weird because i thought i liked him soo much more than he liked me but he remembers everytime we hung out more than i do and i have a really good memory and he played me a ton of songs that remind him of me and kills him when he hears them..... i dont know what to do... i know hes a player.. but i know he really likes me... i know it will be hard for him to be loyal, but i think he means it and will do it... im worried though.. my parents dont like him (they are very strict) and they dont know that hes smoked weed and they would probably take my car and cell away if they knew lol.. i had to lie to them last night when i hung out w/ him... i hate lying to them... but i like being w/ him soo much....... he makes me soo happy but i know how unhappy he can make me.... basically i dont know what to do...im confused... idk if i should go w/ my heart and like him and hangout w/ him and take it really slow and see if i want a relationship a while from now... or if i should go w/ my gut and continue being the good girl and try to find more guys and keep him on a friend level (i know i will be sad for a while)... PLEASE HELP!
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Hey!
Well it seems like you're a bit confused. You want to go out with him, btu there are so many reasons not to.
So heres what I think you should do, but remember I can't make a decision for you, only you can choose who you go out with. I think that if I were in the situation, I would take the pros and the cons and weigh them out. Then if you decide to go out with him, talk to your parents, and tell them about the following, then see what they say, because lying isnt good, and you know it (thats good) so to do it when you know better isnt a good thing.
So heres what you are going to tell your parents, and him, you're going to give him a chance. A couple of months, enough time to see if he is for real. If he cheats on you, or smokes or does anything else you want to outline, then its over right then and there. No more chances ever. Its like he's on probation. If after a few months he relapses then you can make the decision when you come to it. But he has to remember that if he fails theres no more chances with you, so he has to weigh out whether or not smoking is more fun than you.
When your parents hear that you have thought this through and know what you are doing, they may let you do it. Let them object if they want, because it is up to them to protect you, so let them say what they want, and don't explode and scream about how they dont trust you or anything. But then say that you are trying to be adult, and make your own decisions and mistakes, and the only way you can learn, is to experience it. That may make them reconcider if they are on the line. If they just don't think it's a good idea, tell them that you respect it, and tell him that you wont be able to go out with him. Then watch him alittle bit and see if he keeps doing drugs and stuff. If he doesnt then invite him to dinner one night to show your parents that he is trying to make a second first impression. And see if that works. If he isnt willing to do that, then he isnt right for you.
If the dinner doesnt work, then tell your parents that you tried to show them that you are both maturing, and that didn't work, so you are going to try going out with him anyway. Don't do this irrationally, just try it calmly, and then if they start taking things away, see if the things they take away are worth more to you than him, if they arent then go out with him, if they mean more to you than him, then maybe you shouldnt go out with him. If they ground you, tell them calmly that they are being unreasonable and they can ground you for as long as they want, but as soon as they unground you (for lack of a proper word) you will go out with him. Tell them that you tried but they didnt accept it, and you have to grow up some time, so they can take away your privilages etc, but it wont really change anything. Tell them that you respect them etc. but its your life. Remember to be calm though because if you burst into tears and scream they arent going to take you seriously.
I hope that answered your question. If you need any more help though, let me know!! good luck,
Angie91
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well this is very long haha. but ur rite and so were your friends follow your heart. love takes risks and sarcrafices!(sp?) he seems that he wants to be with you alot and you guys would be so happy i say go for him but if you dont want to do the same thing over again with him then dont. i say go to him and if he does something wrong again you leave him. rite now it seems like he would be great to you!
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You should move on. A guy like this might get you into trouble, and you don't want that. Stay just friends with him and focus on other things. It'll be hard for a little while but it will be for the best.
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