|
Showing love
How do you show someone that you love and care about them, in a way that they will appreciate, when they don't want you to?
My ex broke up with me. At first I thought I wanted to date her again. Okay, maybe I do. But I later discovered it was more than that. It was about my inability to express my love to her in a way that she would appreciate. This is what causes the heartache. The dating is just an added bonus to the aspect of reciprical love. So know then, the question becomes deeper than how do I get my ex back. Instead it is how do I show her that I still care about her, without irking her more. In the end it seems that everything you do in the beginning is wrong. I.E. Writing lots of corny letters, becomes harrasment after a breakup. Sending gifts, are no longer seen as expressions of love, but as trying to buy love. And showing up unnannounced on the doorstep, is seen as creepy, instead of simply surprising. Why is this? And furthermore, on the deeper note, how do I show my care to her, when she doesn't want me to?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I first want to apologise for answering this question very late. I'm not sure if this will be any help to you now, but it never hurts to share one's opinion.
When you are in a relationship w/ someone you get accustomed to certain things. When you breakup it's hard to get use to the fact that things can't be the way the were. The only way can show that you truelly care about her is not spending time w/ her during the first two weeks of the breakup. This will give her the space she's needing (the one who does the breaking up generally are the ones who just need time be independant). This will also give you time to "detox". Those couple of weeks will feel like you are going through rehab. You will have withdrawls & will crave to be w/ her. You'll feel miserable, but in the end you will thank yourself for not getting in contact w/ her because you have avoided saying anything that will jepordise a chance of staying close. Depending on the reason of the breakup, you can try to talk to each other. Remain friends, show her you have a life. If you become unavailable to her this will show her that you are strong & stable...you don't need someone to validate your life. If you care about her let her know by listening to what she says. If you two don't get back together, use that as a chance to get some feed back as to why. What is it about you that she pushed away. A platonic conversation relaxes the both of you & you'll find yourselves a bit more content.
Since this advice is passed due I am curious to know how you handled the situation. Did you two get back together or did you go your seperate ways? Were you able to remain friends? Were words shared fired & you can't speak let alone look at each other? Just remember what ever happened, it happened for a reason.
]
More Questions: |