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friends and doctors appointments
15/ female
a few months ago my friend (15/female)told me she was going to have sex with her boy friend(16 male) of like 5 months. I didnt think it was a good idea, since I thought he was kind of a jerk and a druggie. But I tried to berealy supportive and a good friend, and she promised to go to a doctor, but her mom is sorta verbally abusive, so shes worried the doctor will tell. Well I suggested she go to a teen clinic near her house, and she went but it wasnt open
well then she went ahead and had sex, but she said she wasnt going to do it again. and that shes on this new medication that says she shouldnt be sexually active
well she lied and told my friend four weeks later that they had sex again. So I brought it up, and I said that she should go see a doctor, and she said she would. Then she told me later that she didnt, and then she said that she had sex again! And I was lik, k, you should go see your doctor, just to make sure its okay while your on the medication, and she said no. So I told her that if she didnt, I would talk to her parents. Because I was really worried about her, and I know its not my job, but I was probably wrong. Well then her boyfriend harrassed me online and I freaked out. He called me a bad friend and a bully and stuff, and I didnt knwo what to, seeing as I didnt really do anything wrong, I just told her I'd tell her mom. Well then my friend and I got in a fight because I was scared of her boyfriend and I didnt really want to be around the two of them anymore, so then she asked what was going on so I was honest. And then she said she would go to a doctor if it would make me feel batter. That was about three months ago and I asked her the other day if they were still doing it, and if she had gone to the doctor and she said they were and she hadnt. Then she told me this long story about how shes worried about him and thinks he may be addicted to pot.
I was just wondering; is there anything that can hurt her from his drugs?, should I talk to her parents? Is there anything that could harm her from the medication shes on, do you think that it is important for her to go to a doctor? and is this really my place, or should I back out? I dont want to, but I guess I cant really change her. Any advice would really help. I tried looking at this from an advicenator's perspective and was confused more. Please help, I'd really appreaciate it! Thanks lots!
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go behind her back she needs to get help meds are a serious thing and so is sex
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You should back off I know you care about her but pushing her to do things even if they are good for her is only going to make her resent you and rebel against you more to do the wrong thing. All you can do is keep talking to her not in a condescending way but talk to her in a sensitive manner as her friend and someone who understands her not as an advisor. That way you can get her to listen to you better and get through to her wihtout her getting upset. Keep telling her the right thing to do with tact and give her all the good reasons why it is the right thing to do such as having protected sex and getting papsmears to make sure the sex isn't harming her in any way. Don't preach to her and don't go to her parents with this because that may push her over the edge and just cause more drama in her life and force her to get more out of control because they'll probably restrict her some more and then she'll rebel some more and she'll no longer be your frined and then who will she have to point her in the right direction. Just give her all your love and understanding and give her some time to mature.
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I know of no medication that makes sex dangerous. So that is BS.
You should tell her one time that you hope she has safe sex. Birth control from a doctor is best, but at least she needs to have her boyfriend use condoms. After that shes on her own.
Smartest thing you could do for her at this point would be to tell her to keep her personal life to herself. Nobody really needs hear about another persons sex life. Not their business. :)
EDIT:
If she is on an antibiotic the doctor may have asked her if she was sexually active. If she were on the pill antibiotics make it less effective. That is the only posible thing I can think of. NO
medication makes sex unsafe. He may also have asked her if she was sexually active while taking her "patient history". It is something doctors ask routinely and means nothing. It is just part of her history.
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Okay, you are stuck in a very hard situation. you are pretty much right in the middle. I think that you should keep a close eye on her. if her boyfriend is addicted to Pot then there is a chance that she might be. go to your school consler and tell him/her the story they will know what to do but DO NOT say names unless the situation getts out of hand.
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